Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“I’m really sorry, Kat.” I stare down at the lights and wonder how to take her silence. Her body remains lax against me. “For what I did to you back then. I was a coward, but then again, you already know that. That’s what you called me.”
“I stand by that,” she says softly.
“You’re not wrong. I was back then. I let my parents’ hatred and all I’d ever been taught to feel about your family cloud my judgment. I wasn’t confident enough to evaluate and make my own decisions. I’m just… really sorry. I would change it if I could.”
More silence but then she says, “You were a kid. We both were.”
“I was old enough—”
“I’m thinking we both weren’t ready for the repercussions of what would have happened.”
“Maybe,” I muse as I think about the hell that would’ve broken loose if we’d told our families. “Maybe not.”
I think that Kat and I could potentially be married now with a family of our own had I been a bit braver. Sylvie could have cousins to play with.
We sit side by side, staring down at the lit stream and listen to the music of the running water. It’s several minutes before Kat finally says, “I forgive you, Gabe.”
I didn’t know how much I needed those words, the release of weight on my shoulders making me feel like I could float off this tank. But I take Kat’s hand and hold on, letting her ground me.
CHAPTER 20
Kat
It’s late as I walk to my Jeep, but there are plenty of streetlamps to light the way. Our board meeting ran late, mostly because we were having fun—eating good food and some of my fellow horsemen drank a little too much good bourbon—and I need to let Gabe know I’m on my way.
I stop on the sidewalk, rummage through my purse for my phone and shoot him a text. I’m just now getting out. Going to run home and change. Be there in an hour.
His response is quick and strangely warming. Drive safe.
It’s crazy the turn of events in my life where Gabe is concerned. Since our talk on top of the tank the other night, we’ve easily slipped back into a relationship of sorts. It’s reminiscent of what we had back in college in that we’re both staying on the down low at my insistence, as things are just too precarious between the families and with his father’s attempt on Sylvie’s life, I’m not willing to throw things into disarray.
But it’s also different in many good ways. We’re more mature, settled and confident. That extends not just into the bedroom where sex is better than it ever was, but out of it as well. Our conversations are deep and we’re exploring each other’s lives. Things we were too young to care about back then are important now. For example, Gabe has opened up to me about how torturous this has been with what his father did to Sylvie. He never had a warm relationship with Lionel, but now he hates the man.
“I hate him more than I could have ever hated a Blackburn,” he said last night as we ate dinner together. He then gave me a chagrined look. “Not that I ever really hated the Blackburns.”
I laughed and assured him I understood what he meant. And I encouraged him to purge those feelings because who wants to carry around that crap. I also took the time to truly let him know how much it means to me and my family that he protected Sylvie and chose what was right over family ties.
We’ve spent every night together since our “tank talk,” and I don’t envision that changing much. I go over to his place though, as I don’t want anyone seeing his vehicle at my apartment. Even if he were to park on the service road, I don’t want anyone catching him making a predawn walk of shame.
Gabe doesn’t want to keep things secret and I understand his desire to be fully open in his feelings. It’s almost as if he wants to defy history and he’s ready to take it all on, but I just can’t right now. Not only do I want to keep the drama down with my family, but there’s a small part of me that isn’t fully trusting of Gabe. It’s not an overwhelming fear and admittedly, I know deep down he’s changed, but I can’t seem to shake that tiny sliver of worry that he’ll abandon me again. I’m guessing that’s something I’ll need to work through.
I pocket my phone and head down the block to the parking lot. There wasn’t any street parking when I arrived at the restaurant in Lexington. I’m the president of our local professional horsemen’s association and we meet quarterly. We do things such as help guide lawmakers in passing legislation, institute show rules and disburse the best information to horse owners, breeders and riders to promote horse health, safety and welfare. It’s a fulfilling commitment and I’ve been involved in several equine organizations over my lifetime.