Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 22480 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 112(@200wpm)___ 90(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22480 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 112(@200wpm)___ 90(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
10
WYNTER
Derek is watching TV in my apartment. It’s been over an hour since I retreated to my room to go to bed. I laid down but without him next to me, it felt wrong. Like it has every night since the wedding.
He’s keeping the volume low, but the low sound of a nature documentary still comes through the thin walls. I’m achy and restless, my body and my heart at war. My body wants him in my bed. My heart wants him forever.
He’s leaving soon and the thought that I’ll miss him has me finally pushing from the bed. I grab a thin robe and wrap it around my body, hiding my tank top and tiny shorts from his view. I always keep the thermostat high at night. Warm, even bordering on stuffy helps me sleep best.
Derek doesn’t move when I come into the room. In fact, he doesn’t even take his gaze from my laptop that’s nestled against his soft gray sweatpants. He’s sitting shirtless on my couch, his sculpted chest on full display and I remember how it felt to wrap my arms around his bare skin. How he let me hold him as he told me about the worst moment of his life.
I take a seat on the other end of the couch, leaving a cushion between us. That cushion has scratch paper on it where Derek’s written down various figures in pencil. There’s even one tucked behind his ear. “Why are you looking at real estate in Courage?”
He’s studying the layout of a one-story ranch home. I think it’s pretty close to Lincoln’s place. It might even be the house right across from his. Cam and Lincoln already live in the same neighborhood. He taps the screen, swiping to inspect the laundry room. “You only have a one-bedroom apartment. I have a one-bedroom. We need space for the baby.”
The home is cozy with the hardwood floors and the open-concept layout. There’s even a sunroom off the kitchen that would be the perfect place to put a tiny breakfast nook. I can envision our baby’s highchair there. “It’s pretty but you’re moving away, and I can’t afford that on my salary. Besides, it’s not about the size of a home. It’s about creating an environment filled with love.”
“I’m not moving, and my kid needs a nursery. You can pick the paint color, but I don’t want you around the fumes. They say it’s unlikely to hurt the baby depending on the type we buy. I don’t believe it. So you’ll have to be out of the house and—”
Despite the fact that he’s still talking, I catch on his first words. “You’re not moving? I don’t want you to stay behind because of the baby. Look, we’ll be fine, and you’ll be close enough that I can call you any time. You should go after your dream.” I pause there and realize what he must be afraid of. “I’ll never keep our baby from you. We’ll work out an arrangement and split custody. You’ll always have access to your child.”
He snaps the laptop closed and sets it next to the yellow roses in a vase on my coffee table. He turns his body toward mine, pinning me with the intensity of his gaze. “This is not about the baby. I’m thrilled about our child. But that’s not where this is coming from.”
I must not be hearing him right. He’s saying things I only imagined he’d say. “What?”
“I fucked up. I knew it the day I let you walk away. But I was terrified of hurting your career. The county has guidelines against us dating and I didn’t want to put something you’d worked hard for in jeopardy. So, I figured I could transfer stations. Took me fuckin’ forever to find one that’d take me. But a three-hour commute is nothing. Not for the way I want you.”
My heart beats faster at his words. He wants me. “So…you were moving away for me?”
“That’s what I was coming to tell you yesterday. I was going to beg your forgiveness and tell you about the job. I wanted…still want to be with you, Wynter. I’ve wanted you every day since the wedding and if I could go back in time and kick my ass for breaking your heart, I would.”
I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them as if that will ward off some of the hurt. “You were so cold in the weeks that followed. I thought that you didn’t care about me at all.”
He swallows, his throat working. “These weeks without you have been torture. The only thing that got me through was imagining the moment that we could finally be together for real. I couldn’t turn you into some dirty secret that I had to hide from my friends and co-workers. I want to show off you proudly for the whole world to see.”