Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Jesus, this fucking man. How was I ever going to survive him? “Stop trying to embarrass me, Bashful,” I said, and he grinned.
“Holy shit. He just called you bashful. And the look on your face right now. You really are in love. I think I see cartoon hearts floating around your head.” Elias laughed.
“I am,” Anson answered. “I don’t know how in the hell we’re going to make it work, but I love him.”
“I’m going to need you guys to start at the beginning. My mind is a little blown here, and not because you’re gay, but fuck, man, leave it to you to fall for a goddamned senator. How did this happen?”
I laughed. Elias was great.
We went to the kitchen table. “Do you want a drink?” I asked them.
“I’m fine,” they both replied, and I kissed the top of Anson’s head before sitting down beside him. Anson and I shared the story with Elias—the hotel bar, talking, his sunglasses, the game. How we began calling and texting after that.
“So when you’ve been out of town?”
“I was in California, yeah.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Mia figured it out at the event the other night, and West’s friend Jeremy knows. Other than that, no one. West was the first person who ever knew about me.”
“I’m so pissed at you for holding this in. I get it because of football, but from me? I’m your brother. I’ll always love you. I hate that you’ve been alone in this.”
My eyes met Elias’s, silently thanking him for what he’d said. For making this okay for Anson because I didn’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t been. His simple nod told me he understood.
“I wanted to change it,” Anson admitted. “Saying it would have made it real, and I didn’t want it to be until now. It’s a fucking mess, though. I can’t come out because of football—maybe eventually, but not this year, not following a Super Bowl win and during the last year of my contract. West is in California. He has a year and a half of his term left, but even then, who knows where I’ll get signed, and it’s not like being a senator is a job where he can just transfer somewhere else.” Anson looked at me sheepishly. “Not that you’d want to. I know we haven’t talked about that.”
I wasn’t sure there was anything I wouldn’t do for him, but I answered with, “I know what you meant.”
“Do you really think it will matter? Football and being gay, I mean,” Elias said.
“I know it will. I’m not saying I’ll lose my whole career, but things will be different. It won’t be about how good a player I am. It’ll always be about me being the gay player—the only out gay player in the NFL. There are men who will have a problem with it in the locker room, and there are fans who will have a problem too, which means no matter how good I am, I’m a liability to any team that signs me.”
“Fuck that. Jesus Christ, how is this the world we live in? Why do people care who someone else loves? I’ll never understand it.” Elias’s hands were fisted. He was upset for his brother, for me. Words stuck in my throat. I didn’t have siblings, so I didn’t know if they would have loved me as much as Elias loved Anson, but maybe things would have been a little easier for me if someone had.
“You’re a good brother,” I finally managed to say. “A good man. I… Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if he’d lost you because of me. My own family… Let’s just say they aren’t as accepting.” My eyes darted away because fuck, this shit was hard.
“Hey.” Anson pulled me in with that one word. I turned to him just as his hand wrapped around and held the back of my head, tugging us together until our foreheads met. “They don’t deserve you,” he said softly. I rolled my eyes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before pulling away.
“I guess it’s good you have a new brother now. If you’ll have me.” My gaze snapped to Elias and held. “You make him happy. He wasn’t ever truly happy before. I never saw it, but I do now. And…well, you’re a senator, and that’s really fucking cool.”
The three of us laughed, a world of weight falling off my shoulders and chest. “Thank you. I’d like that.”
We hung out and talked some more after that, then went into the living room to play a game. Holy fuck, they played more video games than any people I’d ever met. When lunchtime rolled around, we ordered food and ate out back in the sunroom. Elias and I talked about the government and politics. He showed me a photo of Carly, whom he’d gotten a ring for, having decided he’d waited enough time to propose.