Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
That, and the fact that he now knew Liam was the kid he’d seen attacked at the fair all those years ago. The kid he’d tried to save.
The gorgeous dancer who’d mesmerized him.
The first guy he’d been attracted to. The one who started it all. Learning that had been too much information at once. Too overwhelming. Which was why he’d run like a little coward instead of telling Liam who he was. That he’d been there. That he’d seen it all and walked away with a few bruises of his own.
After all Liam had suffered that horrible day, he’d come back to live in Swan.
It was either the bravest or stupidest move Tate had ever heard.
One thing was for sure, he’d never be worthy of breathing the same air as Liam until he pulled his head out of his ass. And he wanted nothing more than to be worthy of Liam’s attention, so he’d better stop lying to himself and make some changes.
He jammed the enter key down before he could talk himself out of it yet again. Two seconds later, he had a host of search results to choose from. He clicked the top one and leaned closer to read. After a few minutes, he sagged back in the chair, shaken to his core.
Liam hit the nail on the head.
Why did that fill him with so much shame?
He was guilty of exactly what the website described. He’d taken the homophobic bullshit he’d heard his entire life and turned it on himself. There he was, thinking himself so much more enlightened than Randy, Daryl, or the rest of the town because he didn’t give a shit who someone wanted to fuck. But when it came to himself? He’d made his sexuality a shameful secret that festered for years until he couldn’t even say “I’m gay” to the man he was fucking.
Why?
Did he believe, like Randy and Daryl, that something was wrong with him?
Maybe he had on some level, and he’d forever be ashamed of that. But meeting Liam, spending time with Liam, and being with Liam opened his eyes to who he was and how he wanted to live. He wanted to be comfortable in his own skin, to live as his authentic self, to be happy and free just like Liam. And the only way he could get there was to start with himself.
A sense of urgency stole over him. He gathered his stuff and shut down the computer—without deleting the search history, baby steps—then ran out to his car. Once behind the wheel, he pulled down the visor and stared into the old, distorted mirror.
“I’m gay,” he whispered to the man staring back at him.
He held his breath as seconds ticked by.
The world didn’t end.
Despite recognizing his attraction to men for the past ten years, despite fucking them in dark corners of the club, he had never dared to utter those words aloud.
“I’m gay,” he said again, louder this time. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave, making a crazed laugh bubble out. “I’m gay!” he shouted at the top of his lungs and then slumped forward. Tears clogged his throat, and a few escaped his eyes.
If Randy or Daryl walked by, they’d call him a pussy for crying and laugh their asses off, but for the first time in his life, he didn’t fucking care. He felt so damn good.
“I have to tell Liam,” he whispered, then straightened. After starting the car, he glanced at the clock. Five in the evening. Today was Liam’s grand opening from three to six. He’d decided to run it like an open house without any formal class times. There’d be food and beverages as well as demos if—when—he had enough interested people checking out the studio.
Tate could stop by. He should stop by. Today had been a great first step, and while he wasn’t ready to scream his sexuality from the rooftop of Swan’s town hall building, he could, at the very least, show the town he and Liam were friends.
Baby steps.
When he arrived at the dance studio, a giant grin broke out across his face. The place was packed. Cars filled the lot and lined the shoulder up and down the street.
“Fuck yeah,” he muttered, pulling around the back of the building. This time, it wasn’t to hide his car but because he had no other options. Party music and children’s laughter greeted him as soon as he stepped out of the vehicle. He hadn’t even taken a step toward the studio and could already tell the event was a huge success.
Someone had propped the back door open, probably to let some air in the crowded building, so Tate headed inside. As he reached the door, memories of days before came rushing back. He’d fucked Liam right there in broad daylight, and it had been like nothing else. Hotter than the fucking sun, but also intimate. He’d never wanted it to end.