Total pages in book: 206
Estimated words: 192184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 961(@200wpm)___ 769(@250wpm)___ 641(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 192184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 961(@200wpm)___ 769(@250wpm)___ 641(@300wpm)
“$35K. I’m clearing O’Connor’s debt. Twenty-five for the debt, ten for the juice.”
“Huh?”
“You heard; payment with interest.”
“I gave her to you as a gift, my boy, and even if I didn’t, the vig didn’t run that high.”
I shook my head. “I’d rather clear it.”
“I’m not taking the gift back, son.”
I nodded and shoved the envelope closer to him and looked him in the eye. “Now you can’t.”
“And you’re marrying her. That makes her even more yours.”
“Take the money.”
Pop stroked his chin and looked at me, perplexed.
“The business between you and O’Connor, whatever it was, is done now. If anything further needs to be done about him, I do it,” I told him.
He sighed, looking a bit defeated. “Fine,” he agreed and put the envelope of money into the inside pocket of his blazer.
“You gonna fill me in?” I asked.
“Why? You’re already digging around. I know you; you’ll find all the answers eventually. Why spoil your moment of triumph?”
“That’s what I thought.”
Yeah, we both knew where I got my tendency for mind fucking from.
I lounged in bed for the biggest part of what was left of the day, despite sleeping at least fourteen hours the night he came home. He really had worn me out. The last week and a half had worn me out emotionally and I guessed it had manifested itself physically despite the fact I’d done not much other than lie around.
At around dusk, I decided to get some proper exercise and do some laps in the pool and then I spent a few hours reading the novel that Sarah had lent me. I had trouble losing myself in it. Why did I need escape into another world when my own world felt like another world? While it was a pretty stress-free evening, all things considered, my wheels just wouldn’t stop turning. I thought about possible scenarios regarding my father and this whole debt thing. I thought about Tommy’s words after we woke up that day, about the fact that I could look at this thing two ways.
1: He’d taken ownership of me and given me a life sentence to be with him, regardless of what I’d be put through and regardless of how I felt. I had no choice, no out.
2: He was making a lifelong commitment to me and I’d have to take him for better or for worse. There could be a lot worse than being with him, as I’d seen down in Mexico. He promised to protect me. No one had ever offered me that before. Not my father, not anyone.
If I chose to look at it positively, it sounded like all he was doing was articulating some marriage vows. Promising to provide for me and protect me but with an underlying threat that I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to despite the fact that it’d be rough at times. And that freaked me out. A lot.
How much would be for better and how much would be for worse? Ice cream parlor guy vs. gangster guy with the dark hunger for control – the dominator. ‘Till death do us part was something people promised all the time, but I had no choice but to honor and obey. I was going to be taken literally in promising to obey him and to spend my life with him, only I hadn’t promised that. I’d been told that this was the deal; like it or lump it.
What was next for me, for us? Did I try to find a way to accept this, or did I keep looking for a way out? The way he looked at me made me feel wanted. He was gorgeous, he was protective, he knew how to light my body on fire. He could be charming. He also scared the crap out of me.
Tommy wasn’t here for dinner. I ate a late meal with Sarah. We cooked together and had barbequed chicken burgers and salads on the patio and we both floated around on tubes in the pool after dinner. Then I went up to bed early, exhausted physically and exhausted emotionally although I’d certainly slept a lot the night before.
I woke up to him climbing in bed with me in the dark. I didn’t know what time it was, but he didn’t initiate sex. He just curled up against me, wrapped his arms around me protectively, and kissed under my earlobe, and was snoring softly into my hair a few breaths later.
I crawled in bed fully prepared to yank her night clothes off her and remind her of rule number three, but the minute my nose caught a whiff of her hair and warm skin, which smelled like oats, honey, and vanilla, I nuzzled in and slept like a log beside her. The last few days had been long and painful. In the morning I’d be taking her out and trying to show her a change of scenery, maybe some romance.