Total pages in book: 206
Estimated words: 192184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 961(@200wpm)___ 769(@250wpm)___ 641(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 192184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 961(@200wpm)___ 769(@250wpm)___ 641(@300wpm)
He played beautifully, soulfully. The sky, the sounds, the smell of the warm air, the smell of him, feeling his warm and smooth skin under my cheek, I was inexplicably glad that I was here with him. I actually felt free for a moment.
When he finished playing it, I recognized the next song as Iris, from the Goo Goo Dolls. It was one of my favorites.
I knew it’d been brewing since before Mexico, but today sealed it for me. I wanted her to want to be mine so bad I was willing to do just about anything to get her there. I wanted to take all the things that were fucked up in her life and erase them. I wanted to reboot our relationship.
I wanted to make the sun set and rise for her. I wanted to protect her. I wanted her to love me. I’d never felt this way before. It created fear and a fierce protective instinct in me that I’d never before experienced, but right now her body against me, watching the setting sun and inhaling the summer night air we were breathing…this was it. This was all I needed.
She’d come to me on her own and put her arms around me again, just like she’d done in the shower the other night. This was what I wanted. This. Not more money, not more power, just this. It was like I’d been missing something in my life that I didn’t know I was missing until her.
I wanted to dole out fear, pain, and punishment all the time. All the fucking time. But today she wanted pain from me. It was beautiful to me to see that, but it meant I didn’t want to give it to her. I made her want something from me, something only I could give her. She didn’t even name what she wanted from me, and I didn’t want to give it a name, either. I just knew it was so satisfying, even more than I’d expected.
I wanted this time away to be different, but I knew soon we’d go back to exploring her willingness to travel down darker corridors with me. Right now, I just wanted her to relax and forget everything she’d been upset about. I wanted her to feel safe, not trapped, to enjoy being with me.
I put my guitar down and looked ahead. She was still behind me, her legs on either side of mine, and her cheek on my back. A breeze picked up a little and her silky hair blew up around my face. I inhaled and caught the scent of oats and vanilla. Cookies. Her arms came around my waist and she flattened her palms against me, the right one across my abdomen, and the left across my chest. I looked down and saw her engagement ring on her finger and something welled up inside me. I held my breath to hold back the overwhelming emotion surging through me.
We sat and watched the sun go down the rest of the way in silence. It was like the whole world was silent for a moment.
Finally, it was dark. I twisted my body around. She let go of me and backed up. I think she thought I meant to get up but instead I climbed on top of her on the floor. I gave her a long, sensual, deep kiss, running my fingers through her hair, cupping her chin. I wanted to devour her. I held that desire back.
After he kissed me, hovering over me on the floor, he got to his feet and helped me up. Then he pulled a screen roller blind down over the opened barn door area and fastened it to the floor with snaps. The little table with two chairs was not far from the back doors and on top of it sat the cooler and picnic basket. He lifted the basket down to the floor and opened the cooler and took out a few plastic lidded food containers and then a bottle of wine and motioned to the basket with his chin, giving me a little smile. He was smiling more often since we’d arrived here. That smile was so beautiful it made me feel almost giddy inside.
I found a square blue and white checked tablecloth in there so shook it out and let it fall over little round table. I pulled two wine glasses from the leather straps holding them to the lid and set them on the table and then set out the two plates and two sets of cutlery as well as cloth napkins that matched the tablecloth.
Tommy reached in, pulled out a candle stick and candle holder, then fetched a barbecue lighter from a tall and weathered-looking armoire against the wall. I watched him light the candle and as he poured wine while I layered cold breaded chicken, garden and potato salads from their containers onto the plates. There was also a lidded container full of fruit salad and a mason jar filled with a fragrant balsamic salad dressing.