Total pages in book: 165
Estimated words: 154925 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154925 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Which told her one thing. He’d been caught and he was going to try to find a way out because he was Kyle freaking Hawthorne and he was made of lies.
His head came up. “It’s only a word…fuck.” He rolled off her and laid back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m not doing this to you again. I’m going to be honest. You can’t believe me when I tell you I love you if I’m keeping the truth from you about other things.”
She was confused. She pushed off the bed, all the relaxation gone now as she grabbed one of the robes. Usually there were two. Not so in the ménage room. There were five of those suckers, and she’d managed to pick up the largest one. It didn’t matter. She wrapped it around her body. “What did you mean? Have you been playing something online?”
He didn’t join her when she played massive multiplayer online role-playing games. He loved video games—especially war games and shooters—and he’d seemed to be starting to enjoy board games, but he never wanted to play the group online games she loved.
He sat up, looking at her. “I couldn’t stand not feeling close to you so I joined your guild. I wanted to be there for you in some way. Any way I could.”
All the heat she’d felt for him turned icy cold in an instant. “You joined my guild?”
She played a medieval game that felt like dungeons and dragons online. She enjoyed the camaraderie, and she’d played so much more lately because she’d needed the escape. The people she played with online didn’t know how dumb she’d been. She could be someone else online. She’d only gotten close to...
“I’m Kraven,” Kyle said, his expression grim. “Like I said, I wanted to be there for you.”
Anger raced through her. “Then you should have picked up the phone. Or written me an email, asshole. Get out.”
“I know you’re mad because it feels like I tricked you, but I think it proves something, too. You were getting close to me. You didn’t know who I was, but you were drawn to me.”
Oh, she had news for him. “Because I thought you were a forty-something dude with a husband and a couple of kids. I thought you were older and smarter than me. I thought you could actually tell me something meaningful. I wasn’t attracted to Kraven. I felt comfortable with him.”
“You flirted with me.”
“You think everyone is flirting with you.”
“No, I don’t,” he countered. “I barely notice other women. Since the day I met you all I see is you.”
“Then you shouldn’t have walked away.” It was always going to come back to this. She wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking. “And you definitely shouldn’t have lied. I trusted Kraven. He felt like he cared about me.”
“Because he loves you.”
She didn’t want to hear that. He was right. She couldn’t believe a word he said, and she never would again. “Get out.”
“MaeBe, you don’t mean that. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stay away from you. Honestly, being able to play that game with you kept me sane.”
If she let him talk, she would end up in bed with him again, and she couldn’t do that now because the storm was coming. She could feel it. She hadn’t cried at the pain from his hand and the crop, but this felt like betrayal.
And she’d killed a man.
She couldn’t even think about that.
Tears were building, and she wasn’t going to do that in front of him. He didn’t get her emotion anymore.
“Meeple.” It was a dumb safe word. It was what board gamers called the wooden pieces some games used as markers. She always played green, and Kyle had somehow ended up with blue. She often made their meeples kiss like she was a preteen with a crush.
His face fell. “That is not fair. This conversation isn’t about D/s. You can’t safe word out of a relationship.”
“Meeple.” It was all she was going to say to him. In this place a person absolutely could safe word out of a relationship. She could also simply no her way out.
He stopped, and she could see that he was trying to figure out how to fix this.
“Meeple.” She needed him to leave because her calm demeanor was a mask that was rapidly disintegrating.
He grabbed one of the many pillows off the bed. “I meant what I said. I’m going to be right outside.”
He strode out, and she was alone.
She waited for the tears. She’d felt them building, but now they seemed stuck like the pin had been pushed back into the grenade right before the strike lever released.
The explosion was still there. It wrapped around her gut and heart, squeezing tight because she couldn’t do what she needed to let it go.
She’d touched it for a moment when it had felt like she could at least have Kyle while the op was on and he was here in Dallas. And then it was gone and she was numb again.