Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 64147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 321(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 321(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Me: Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes.
Shoving my phone in my pocket. I make my way to the elevator, more relieved than ever that I actually got dressed, styled my hair, and put some makeup on today.
I type in my code to the elevator panel and push for the sixteenth floor. A few seconds later, I arrive at my destination. The door slides open with the bell sound, leading me into the hallway. I keep walking until I make it to Dallas’s apartment door which is slightly ajar.
One step inside, and I come to a sudden halt. My feet remain cemented into the ground as I stare at the two suitcases, only a few feet away from me. Dallas is standing right behind them, dressed in a suit like he’s about to head out.
“I’m leaving,” he says, as if the picture he painted here wasn’t enough of a hint.
“Why?” I ask without thought, like I’m on autopilot.
“It’s better this way.”
“For whom?” I throw my arms out, making unnecessary hand motions. “I don’t understand.”
Dallas sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Better for all of us. You and Griffin are great together. You should give it a real chance.”
“We are… I think. I mean, we haven’t really talked about it, mostly because we should be talking about it together, all three of us.”
“Nat, there can’t be a three of us.”
“Who says? Is the threesome police gonna come and get us?” It’s a halfhearted joke, but neither one of us is laughing. I take a step toward him. “Are you really that scared of what people are going to think?”
“I don’t give a shit what people think.” Dallas huffs.
“Then what’s the problem?”
He pauses before muttering the next words slowly. “I can’t trust you.”
“I know I messed up, and I know it’s going to be a while for me to get your trust back. But I’m okay with that. I will work my ass off to prove to you every day that I deserve this. How am I going to prove myself to you if you leave?”
“It’s not that easy, Nat.”
“Wanna know what I think? I think you are just scared. Scared that I love you, and you are going to fall in love with me.”
“Do you?”
“What?”
“Do you love me?” Dallas asks, and my mouth suddenly goes dry. My first instinct is to say no, not to give these three little words away. Because, once you do, you can’t take them back. They might just be three words, but they can hold a lot of power. They let the other person know how vulnerable you are. And right at this moment, I’m pretty fucking vulnerable.
“I do.” I force the words past the giant lump in my throat. “I love you.”
Dallas’s face goes slack, shock taking over his features. I’m not sure what answer he expected, but me telling him I love him was definitely not it.
With each second that passes, the ball of anxiety in my chest expands. Why is he not saying anything back? Did you not hear what I just said? The story Dallas told me about his grandparents pops into my mind… you really start loving someone when you tell them something you are scared of sharing, and they react in a way that calms you.
I was scared of sharing this, and now it’s his turn to calm me down. Unfortunately, he doesn’t.
“I’m sorry, Nat. I just can’t do this right now.” He leans down to grab the handles of his suitcases, extending them so he can pull his luggage behind him. “I’m sorry,” he repeats his apology. But there is nothing he can say that will make me feel better.
He walks past me toward the door, and all I can do is stand there like a deer in headlights. The scent of his aftershave still hangs heavy in the air when I hear the elevator close behind me, leaving me more alone than I have ever felt in my life.
29
NATALIE
After everything I have been through in the last few weeks, you’d think Dallas walking out on me would be nothing in comparison. The truth is, him leaving is more painful than I ever thought possible. I take a few minutes to compose myself before going back to my apartment.
“There you are,” Griffin greets me, concern lacing his voice. “What’s going on?”
“Dallas left,” I blurt out as I walk into the kitchen, where Griffin has arranged the food we ordered into a buffet on my table.
Griffin’s shoulders sag with a sigh. “I tried to talk him out of it.”
“You knew?” I almost sit down, but I’m too wound up to be still, so instead, I pace through the kitchen.
“I knew he was thinking about it. I didn’t know he would actually go through with it and definitely not so soon.” Griffin takes a seat and start piling food on his plate.