Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 148704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 744(@200wpm)___ 595(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 744(@200wpm)___ 595(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
She drops onto the edge of her bed, face falling into her palms as she cries softly, but I can’t bring myself to sit.
I can’t.
I’m… fucking terrified, because when it comes to Davis, I’ve never been able to snag the number one spot. I think I was close, real close, but now? With him back?
Never.
She will always choose him over me, and she already has, whether she realizes it or not, whether she means to or not. Hell, he’s her family, maybe she’s supposed to.
Maybe I’m being a little bitch.
Maybe this is what I deserve for hiding all the shit he put me through, for covering up everything he’s done and being his fall guy. For shielding her from the truths I didn’t want her to have to bear the weight of. I thought that was what you did for someone you love, protect them, no matter the lies told along the way.
Maybe none of that was right.
“Davis…”
Slowly, her head lifts, her face streaked with tears, brows furrowing. The crestfallen expression on her face has me wanting to drop to my knees before her, but my feet hold still.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she says so low, I almost miss it.
Honesty is the best and worst fucking way to go, even when she knows the answer before I say it.
“Because I came home tonight reeking of too many liquors to count, like I do every night. Like I will every day that follows.” My world is built on what she’s trying so hard to protect her brother from.
The small frown along her forehead deepens, her mind trying to work through the meaning behind my words. No more than seconds pass and her lips begin to tremble.
My chest stings, temples pounding as I wait for her to say something.
Her inhale is sharp and piercing, straight into my fucking gut.
This time, I do drop in front of her, her cries tearing me apart, piece by pathetic piece.
Her hands come up, cupping my cheeks as she stares into my eyes, her thumbs stroking the sharp edge of my jaw that I can’t seem to relax, and I lean into the touch.
Her tears fall over her cheeks faster now, and I catch a few, swiping them away, but they just keep coming, her breaths now shaky, soft sobs.
“I don’t know what to do, Crew. He needs someone’s help. He needs me.” I need you. “I’ve waited years for him to be ready to get clean.”
I’ve waited years for you.
My teeth clench, and I offer her a tight smile.
Davis throws herself at me, knocking me on my ass, and curling into my lap. Her hands tether around me and mine do the same, holding her close to my chest.
I press my cheek to her temple, eyes closing. This is fucking rough.
I hate Memphis more than I hate my own fucking dad, and that’s saying something, but I can’t tell her this. She loves him more than anyone in the world.
She loves him more than she loves me.
She’ll choose him, if it came to that, but I would never make her face the question or say the words. I would never force her into a position of guilt that would only lead to resentment.
“Don’t leave me, Crew. Please don’t leave me.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens, and slowly, I pull back, needing to meet her gaze.
The moment her tear-stained face finds mine, her features pull tight with confusion, and even tighter as realization sets in.
“Crew…” Her voice cracks.
I’d almost swear my ribs did too.
She shifts suddenly, so she’s straddling me, but only so she can possess my full attention.
“Crew, this is… this is real for me,” she whispers, her palms falling to my chest, pressing over the date marked on me. “At first, I didn’t know if I fit in your new world because I was, well, me, but I’ve never felt more like myself than I do when I’m a part of it. I want to be a part of it. I want you to want me forever because I know now that I have you, I can’t go back to before us. I don’t want to. Having Memphis here this past week has been amazing, a prayer answered, if I’m honest. We can figure out how to be us with him around because I do want him here, but Crew, I need you here. I need you like I need nothing else. Not for now, not for a while, for always.”
My heart is beating out of control, a knot forming in my throat as too many thoughts, hopes and damn dreams overwhelm me all at once.
My limbs begin to shake, and she brings herself closer, forcing me to confess, “I own the bar.”
She stills. “What?”
“Sideways Sippin’. It’s mine. I’m still paying off the last owner, but it’s mine, Sweets.”