Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 156907 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 785(@200wpm)___ 628(@250wpm)___ 523(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 156907 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 785(@200wpm)___ 628(@250wpm)___ 523(@300wpm)
“We both have done well,” I lied.
“You have, because you always would. Serena did not, because she needed to be taught how. And once I realized my mistake, it was too late.”
I drew in breath as I came to understand what she was saying.
And then she spoke her true message in a quiet voice filled with yearning.
“You need to be patient with her, Elena.”
“Mother—”
“That is not your mother who requests that of you, Ellie. It is your mum.”
My eyes started stinging.
“She is your sister, my glorious daughter,” she whispered.
I turned my head away.
“I would have Dora here,” she said, changing the subject.
I turned back, the words on my lips to offer to send a bird, bring the girls to her immediately (or as immediately as was possible), however, she carried on before I could.
“But that is selfish. She would not benefit from seeing me thus. But if I had my wish, she would be at my side, as well as the buoyancy of Cassius’s girl. Aelia knows no other way than the one you will soon endure. If Aelia were here, she’d lift you up.”
“I will be fine,” I assured her.
“You will be lost, and you will be sad and then you will be angry and after that you will be sad again. And maybe later, you will be fine. It will be a different manner of fine to what you are used to, but trust me, my daughter, you will find your way to it.”
I did not know if that was true, but I did not argue it.
I bent to her again, lifting her hand to hold it close to my heart.
But she pulled it away in order to lift it farther and touch my cheek.
“You will make a magnificent queen, Elena,” she said quietly. “I’ve had much time to think on it these past days, and I have realized I envy Wilmer. He will be alive to watch his son thrive. I will not have that gift, but I wish you to know, I die understanding it.”
“Perhaps I was wrong, and I did not wish for you to talk with me.”
Her mouth curled up at the ends.
I took up her hand again in both my own and held her fingers to my lips.
I cast my eyes down, filling my vision with her fingers, still looking so capable, and I memorized the sight of them.
And with those fingers pressed to my mouth, I spoke against them.
“I love you, Mum.”
“And I you, my glorious Elena,” she replied. “I love you to the sun and every star beyond and I have from the moment I sensed you in my womb.”
I closed my eyes.
“You do not know,” she said.
I opened my eyes and looked at her, replying fiercely, “I do know.”
She gave me a soft smile. “I know you know of my love, or at least I hope so. That is not of which I speak.”
I moved her hand back to my heart. “Of what do you speak?”
“You embody the hope,” she shared. “The hope of our sisters those centuries ago, before it was lost, and they had to do their worst to gain their liberty. The hope of Airenzian women now, when they look at you, or simply know you are amongst them. Indeed, the hope of all women everywhere. That you can be you, the strength of you, the magic of you, the skills of you, the nurture of you, the compassion of you, the thoughtfulness of you, the love of you, even the flaws of you. You can be that, and just be free to be that. All of it. All the magnificence of you.”
I stared down at her, feeling the tears trembling in my eyes.
She was not finished, however.
“And you can be that and have him,” she said, her voice softer. “And he returns all of it, and this is the way it can be. The way it should be. That you are free to be all of you, give all of you, and receive it in return.”
I swallowed, for this was what I had, what Cassius had, and what we gave each other.
“Do you love him?” she whispered.
“He is a third of my world, the other two are you and Dora.”
“And Aelia,” she stated.
“All right, so he’s a quarter of my world,” I muttered.
“And Melisse.”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“And Jasmine and Hera,” she continued.
At that, those eyes rolled.
“And Serena,” her hand shook mine, “and don’t pretend you do not have love in your heart for your sister. I know you do.”
“This makes what I feel for Cassius sound less dramatic than it actually is,” I complained.
“This is the problem of the world,” my mother declared grandly, her voice stronger than it had been our entire conversation, as it always became when she was offering wisdom. “There is this idea that love has limits. You can love many with all of your heart, Elena. It does not come in pieces. It is not a well you dip into and deplete. It is not a sword you wield to give and then take away to cause injury. It is a muscle that, the more you use it, the stronger it gets.”