Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 138169 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138169 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
“I never learned how to love. Not really,” Micah says. The wind teases his arctic fox hair, making it stand wild and rakish. “The only person in my life I ever truly loved was my brother, and that…” He shakes his head. “He died. No warning and no goodbye. Jet was the only person I knew how to love, and he died on me.”
“That doesn’t mean everyone you love will always die.”
“But it means the part of me that can love died with him,” Micah growls. “All I had left was hate after that. Think I even hated myself, because of how Jet protected me. When we were kids, he took the abuse while I hid from our father and I let him, when it should have been me. When all you have is hate so deep you don’t know how to stop, you forget how to love anything at all.”
I just smile, nudging the big German Shepherd lightly with my toe and getting a warm, wet lick to my calf.
“Nope,” I say. “Rolf says you’re a liar.”
“Rolf talks, huh? Guess he’s a bigger hero tonight than I thought.” Micah arches a skeptical brow.
“Micah Ainsley,” I proclaim, pulling the mask down around my neck. “You love that goofy dog more than you love yourself. You dote on him. You saved him from being retired and bored to death. You know all his little habits, his moods, everything about him—and you know he’d do anything for you, even charging into battle.” I laugh. It’s getting easier to breathe now. “They say you never trust a person who doesn’t like animals. And as much as you love Rolf, I trust you’re still able to love things with two legs, too.” My fingers curl against his chest. “Maybe you need to start over. Start with you. Forgive yourself for all the things you couldn’t control.”
“With Xavier in custody, I might be able to work on forgiveness, but I’m not sure loving myself will ever be possible.” Micah’s lips twist.
I love you, so it must be, I want to scream.
But I’m afraid to. There’s a new fear that I’m misreading what he’s trying to say, what he’s implying. Fear that he’s about to break me all over again.
I only duck my head and whisper, “…yes, it is.”
“Talia?”
“I’m sorry.” I avert my eyes. “I won’t say it. I know it’s uncomfortable for you, I…”
“Say it.” I’m stunned when he grabs my face in his palms, turning me toward him, leaning in until our foreheads touch. “I need to hear it tonight. I need to know I haven’t broken it.”
My heart rises in my throat.
It’s so intense I almost can’t do it.
But ever since I took my life into my own hands, I’ve never turned away from risks. So I take a new one now.
“I love you, Micah Ainsley,” I whisper.
I never expect the way he smiles.
Soft, sweet, a little in awe, piercing my heart and breaking me in a new, beautiful way.
“I was always so worried my darkness would scare you away,” he rumbles. “Or break you. Somehow, all it did was bring you closer, and I love you for it, Talia. I love you for you. For everything you are. Your courage, your kindness, your wisdom, your sweetness. I fucking love you. I want to beg for your forgiveness, but even without it, I won’t stop. You shine so bright it burns, and I need the pain. I know I don’t deserve you, no, but it doesn’t change the truth. I need you.”
My breaths are soft and shallow. I don’t need them right now.
Not when Micah is better than the air I breathe.
I lean into him, ghosting my lips on his, aching for how it feels like new after he broke us and welded us together again.
I remember that night with my grandfather, when he thought I was my grandmother and yet still found a way to ease my hurting heart.
“Francis Bacon,” I whisper into the stillness between us. “He said, In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” I smile. “If I’m too bright, it’s only because you’re the darkness—and you make me shine.”
“My light,” Micah whispers, holding me closer. “My redemption.”
There goes my heart.
Basically forever.
The last time his lips touched mine, Micah gave me life.
This time, when his mouth claims mine, he makes me feel alive.
A hot rush pours through me, filling me until I’m dizzy.
His kiss comes slow, tender, his mouth tracing mine with a reverence that makes me feel cherished. That lets me savor every last sensation of skin until I’m tingling and gasping by the time his tongue dips in to taste me.
His kiss draws me up to meet him until we’re twined tongues, slick pressure, lingering and sweet.
God, I could live this kiss forever.