Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“He has a son who’s probably about Reese’s age. I think Wyatt is fifteen now. Good kid. He had Wyatt with his best friend Lindsey, but Roe’s got a partner, Holden. He moved here from Atlanta, and has a friend named Vince, who visits often. He’s gay too. Then over in Everett there’s Deacon, the owner of Sundae’s Best, an ice cream place. It wasn’t around when we were kids. He’s got a partner named Grady. They’re all around all the time and haven’t had any problems.”
August let out a deep breath. “That’s good to hear. Maybe Reese and Wyatt will meet up. He needs good friends.”
“I’ll talk to Roe. Maybe we can plan something. I can have a cookout at my place, or we can all meet up at Movies with Goats or something. And Roe’s partner has a nephew the same age. Both Roe and Holden will want to help, and the kids are the most accepting I’ve ever known. Grady too. His nephew, Scout, visits sometimes. They took him right in.”
“Thank you. That’d be great. I…” Clint watched as he walked over, climbed onto their waterfall, and sat right down the way they’d done as kids. “Reese hates me.”
“Ah, hell. I’m sure that’s not true.” Clint joined him, water sloshing when he sat. They were close together, their legs touching, an arm and their torsos too, not having as much space as they used to.
“He always had this…I don’t know, fascination with Lewis he didn’t with me. He always wanted to impress him, looked to him for praise and would beam when he got it. Lewis traveled for work. I was home more and did a lot more of the day-to-day parenting. Then Lewis would come back and get to be the fun one. He wasn’t the father making him do his homework at night and grounding him when he got in trouble. Reese blames me for the divorce because I’m the one who asked for it. We weren’t a real couple anymore, though. All we did was fight, and Lewis was spending less and less time at home.
“When we separated, it was automatic that Reese would stay with me, partly because I was home more, but also because I was the one who parented more. I always thought if Reese had been given a choice, he would have chosen Lewis. In the beginning, Lewis would see Reese a lot, but like our marriage, he stayed away longer and longer. It was like out of sight, out of mind… Shit, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen you since we were fourteen, and here I am, spilling my guts to you on the first day.”
Clint nudged him. “What are friends for? Plus, you were always needy.” He hoped August knew that was a joke and that it lightened the mood the way Clint wanted it to. When August smiled, Clint thought he’d succeeded. “Is that why you two moved here?”
“Mostly. It was hard having his other father so close yet so far away. Reese started to get into trouble at school, then the graffiti thing. He quit sports, and he didn’t really connect with a lot of the kids there. He didn’t have close friends. I thought a fresh start would do us some good, or at least it would wake Lewis up, but all it did was piss Reese off more, while Lewis is moving his boyfriend in. Everything is my fault: the divorce, moving, Lewis not spending time with him. I never know what in the hell I’m doing. All I can think is, what if I fuck this up? I wanted so bad to be a father. He was two when we adopted him. What if I’m not cut out for it? What if I wasn’t supposed to be a dad? What if I ruin his life, or he doesn’t know how much he’s loved, or a million other things I think about all the time.”
“Hey, the fact that you think all those things? That you worry about them and consider them? That right there says you’re a good father. You were meant to do this. Nobody has all the answers. I don’t have kids, but I figure the most important thing is that you love them and you make sure they know how much they’re loved. You’re doing that. I haven’t seen you in twenty-eight years and I can see it.”
Clint had no idea if he was saying the right thing or not. He just knew he wanted to make August feel better and that he believed every word he spoke.
“I think he’s angry with you because you’re here. He can’t take his anger out on Lewis because he’s gone, and Reese is probably afraid to do anything to make him stay gone longer. He can let his feelings out with you because he knows you’re not going anywhere. That you love him and will always be there for him, and he can’t say the same about his other dad. Our minds and hearts make us do funny things sometimes, and Reese is a kid, so I’m sure it’s worse for him. But I think the fact that he can be real with you speaks volumes. And I think maybe he fought so hard for Lewis’s approval, praise, and attention because he didn’t have it. He had yours, and again, he knew he would always have yours. He was trying to impress Lewis to get the same from him.”