Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
August just sat there for a moment, wishing parenting came with a manual. Nine times out of ten, he had no fucking clue what he was doing and just felt like he was drowning and ruining Reese’s life. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that makes you feel a lot of conflicting emotions. I’m always here to talk about it. You know that.”
Reese shrugged. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. He just said it might be a hectic summer, and since we just moved, I should probably wait until the fall to come and visit. Figured you should know, since you’ll be stuck with me.”
God fucking damn, Lewis. August couldn’t understand how he didn’t want to spend every second he could with their son. How he couldn’t see the ways he was hurting Reese. “Hey, I am absolutely not stuck with you. I want you with me, Reese, do you hear me? I couldn’t imagine my life without you living with me. You’re my son, and I love you so much. Pop does too. We’re so lucky to have you.” He was back to feeling inadequate again. The words seemed so trivial, but he didn’t know what else to do. He sure as shit planned to have a talk with Lewis.
“Here you go,” the waitress said, setting Reese’s plate in front of him. He loved breakfast for dinner and had ordered eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, and pancakes. He wasn’t a big kid, but not small like August had been; normal-sized. He sure could eat, though. “And for you.” She set August’s catfish, okra, and hush puppies down too. “Anything else I can get you folks?”
August looked at Reese, who was putting his earbuds back in. “No, we’re okay, thank you.” When she walked away, he asked Reese, “Do you want to talk? Not even just about Pop, but…I don’t know. Let’s just talk.” He sounded like an idiot, and he knew before Reese pointed to his earbuds and shook his head that his son would turn him down.
Reese wanted August to be Lewis. For whatever reason, Reese wanted Lewis instead of him, and that made his heart ache something fierce. He took a bite of his food, then risked a glance over at Clint. His old friend looked at him too, giving August a quick smile. He returned it, then got busy eating, feeling more alone than ever.
They ate in silence. A good dad would probably force Reese to take the earbuds out, but August didn’t. They didn’t talk during the car ride home either. When they arrived, Reese grabbed Butter to take her out. “Want to watch a movie?” August asked.
“Nah, I’m gonna draw.”
August watched him go out. Through the window, he saw Reese play and talk with his dog. Funny how much they had that in common. Reese was good with animals, connected with them the way August always had too.
He waited until Reese was in his room before calling Lewis, who didn’t answer.
Around eleven, August was sitting on the porch, cell phone in hand, staring at Clint’s hey from earlier so August would have his number. It wasn’t a text he was supposed to respond to, really, and it was late, but still, he replied.
Me: Hey.
Clint: Who is this?
Me: Ha-ha.
Was it weird to text Clint like this? Now he was feeling foolish, despite knowing that wasn’t what Clint would have meant. It felt weird, though, messaging after just seeing him for the first time in twenty-eight years. Was this the right protocol? Should he have waited until a normal time of day and called him? Jesus, what if he had a partner, and here August was, looking like a creepy stalker by texting him in the middle of the night.
Clint: It was good to see you tonight.
Me: Good to see you too.
Clint: I have a million questions for you. I can’t believe you’re back.
Me: Yeah, never expected it. I got divorced about two years ago. Reese and I needed a fresh start.
There. He’d put out there his marital status, so maybe that would make Clint respond with his. Not that it mattered. Again, he wasn’t looking to date anyone, but it might change how they moved forward.
Clint: Shit, man. Sorry about that.
“What about you?” August asked out loud to the phone like an idiot.
Me: I hope I didn’t wake you…or your partner or something.
“Oh my God.” August dropped his head back and looked at the porch ceiling. He felt old and out of touch all of a sudden. He hadn’t tried to sneakily get a man’s relationship status in twenty years, even if the reason wasn’t for dating.
Clint: Nah, I was awake, and it’s just me.
August felt an uptick in his pulse he had no business feeling. His son was a mess right now. That was what his focus needed to be on.