Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 130159 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130159 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
“Yes. It is as far as I’m concerned.” It had been weighing heavily on her mind since Seth had opened up about the tragic deaths of his wife and son. Of course, she could never replace Autumn, and no child she bore would bring back Tristan…but she’d wondered if having a family again would help him heal and feel whole. “I think about it a lot, actually.”
Tension left his body with a heavy sigh, then he wrapped her in a tight hug. “Fuck. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, little girl. I was afraid you’d changed your mind.”
“No, I simply haven’t been pushing him the way you have, especially about kids.”
Beck grimaced. “You’ve noticed?”
“It’s impossible to ignore the push-pull between you two in bed. Even when you both have me mindless and pleading, I still feel it.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make everything awkward, I’m just hoping Seth will put the past behind him and move forward with us, the way we planned before… Well, before.”
“You don’t think he’ll come around on his own?”
“Honestly?” Beck sighed. “I have no clue.”
“I think he’ll get there. He’s doing better. It’s slow, but he made peace with Zach. That’s a positive step.”
“Yeah,” Beck conceded. “But that was two months ago. He hasn’t made much progress since.”
“That’s not true. The night before Gloria’s wedding he almost…you know, without a condom.”
Beck grinned. “I love that we can arouse you into doing some of the dirtiest, sexiest things, but you still blush when you try to talk about them.”
She slapped his arm playfully. “Stop it. You know I’m right. Not that Seth forgoing the condom would have mattered that night. I started my period the next day.”
“Oh, I remember, damn it. But him almost fucking your pretty little pussy bare that night isn’t the same as him actually doing it.”
“But still… Baby steps.”
He shrugged. “So you think we should keep waiting for Seth to work out his fears?”
“I don’t think we can force him to move past them. And I’m okay with waiting if that’s what he needs.”
“How long? Until you get out of school?”
“That would be practical,” she pointed out. “It would be harder to study and work with an infant.”
“True, but the difficulty wouldn’t last forever. The three of us could make it work. It would be worth it.”
“It would,” she agreed. “But only if Seth is on board. He’s not right now. I haven’t put a mental deadline on how long I’m willing to wait. I’m not in a huge hurry. Are you?”
“Honestly? Yes. My patience was up at the lodge. Since we’d all agreed that we would let fate decide our future, I prayed we’d get you pregnant that night, but…” Beck sighed.
He was already done waiting? That filled her with panic, but she had to stay calm and try to reason with him. “If I had, Seth probably wouldn’t be with us today.”
Beck cursed. “I’ve thought of that, and I’m trying not to be a selfish prick. I’m just tired of my life being on hold. What if it takes him another two years to be ready for kids? Five years? Or more? Once, he suggested we wait a decade. I can’t do that, especially since he’s running from his demons a lot more than he’s fighting them.”
“But he is fighting. That’s something. And I think he’ll get there, probably sooner than you imagine…” She did her best to encourage Beck since he’d obviously been gnawing on his frustration in silence for months. “Just…please. Don’t give up on us.”
“That’s the last thing I want,” he assured. “And it’s not that I don’t sympathize with his loss. The enormity of his wife and son being murdered, especially over a case he pursued… I can’t even imagine. But Seth can’t change any of that now. Beating himself black and blue isn’t living. And being afraid of the future won’t stop it from coming.”
“I know, but we have to keep reassuring him and wait for him to come to terms with his past. What other choice do we have?”
“There are other options…but they come with risks.”
His ominous tone sent a chill up her spine. “Risks?”
Beck nodded tightly. “You and I are ready for a family…and it only takes two to tango. We could go upstairs right now and start making babies.”
Heavenly wasn’t okay with that. “But—”
“But this is an equal partnership,” Beck reassured her. “If we did that behind Seth’s back, he’d feel betrayed, and rightly so. And he wouldn’t stick around.”
Her heart splintered at the thought. “I-I could never do that to him.”
“No matter how badly you want commitment and children? It’s definitely a last resort. But I’ve started to wonder…at what point does the longing to have a family outweigh the risk of losing him? Would you really wait forever?”