Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 88673 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88673 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
“It doesn’t feel like a choice. That’s the part you’re missing. It feels like a requirement.” Her eyes lock with mine, unblinking. “It feels like a trap.”
I let out a long exhale, bow my head, and rub my fingertips into my temple. “I didn’t plan to kidnap you. I’m not trapping you.” I look back up at her. “I’m trying to save your life. I’m sorry my plan is not to your satisfaction, but it’s the best I can do.” My chair scrapes along the floor as I get up, then I point in the direction of the basement. “Let’s go. Your choice awaits.”
She leans back in her chair, arms still crossed, unafraid to meet my gaze. “I’m not going back into the basement.”
“No? Well, you just spent the last five minutes insisting that you were.”
“Tell me about the darkness then.”
“What?”
“You didn’t say either way. Earlier, when I asked about it? Tell me about the darkness and I’ll go with you.”
I laugh out loud. “I don’t care if you come. I don’t need to tell you anything.”
“You do care. Otherwise you wouldn’t be making this offer.”
“If you know I care, then why are you being so difficult? Just agree and we can go to bed, and tomorrow morning we’ll leave.”
“Because I want something from you to even out this power struggle we’re in.”
I scoff. “There’s no struggle here. I’m the one with the power.”
“Exactly. And as long as it’s so uneven, I don’t feel safe. So I can’t go.” I’m just about to explode when her face changes. Her eyes go soft and her lips pout. “I want to go. I want to go with you. I don’t want to die. I just need…”
“An excuse?”
She presses her lips together and nods. “Yes.”
“So you can live with yourself later?”
“Yes. So tell me about the darkness and then we’ll be even and I will save you from yourself.”
I laugh. It comes out loud. But she’s absolutely fucking serious. Her eyes are even a little glassy, like she’s on the verge of tears. “You want to talk yourself into the idea that I’m vulnerable, is that it, Clover?”
She shrugs up that one shoulder again. “Maybe it’s stupid, but it evens it out.”
I sit back down, kick my legs out, and fold my arms across my chest. “Fine. I was sent on a mission when I was twenty-two and I fucked it all up. When I got back, they punished me.”
Her eyes squint up in confusion. “What did you do?”
“It’s not important. What’s important was the darkness, remember?”
“OK. Fine.” She rolls her hand in a ‘keep going’ motion.
“My punishment was to work in the tunnels.” Immediately, her mouth opens to ask questions. But I put up a hand to be silent. “If you come with me, you’ll see. But that’s the important part, remember.”
“All right. You were sent to work in some kind of tunnel. How is that punishment?”
“It was dark.” My mood sours and my words come out bitter. “And it wasn’t a small darkness, either. It was six years. And ya know, we’re born underground, and we live our whole lives underground, and obviously, our sun is artificial, so how can the darkness be punishment? That kind of darkness—the kind that doesn’t come with an artificial sun and all the perks and amenities that a city affords, it’s unbearable. It’s torture.”
Clover doesn’t breathe, or blink, or move through any of that explanation, so when it’s over, she exhales. She doesn’t avert her eyes. They are staring intently into mine. Like she’s picturing everything I just revealed inside her head. She blinks. “And this is your last chance, isn’t it?”
I nod. There’s no point in hiding that. And if she needs something to humanize me, or whatever, so that she can make the decision to save herself, so be it. “I can’t fuck it up. And if I let you go, it will get fucked up. Somehow, some way, it will.”
“How long were you up here?”
“Only a year.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Six years ago.”
“You spent six years in the dark?”
“Yep. Satisfied now?”
She lets out a long sigh. “OK. I guess I am. But we’re not leaving tonight?”
“We’ll wait until morning. I have to blindfold you so you won’t be able to find the tunnel again once you’re free and it’s better to do that in the daylight.”
“OK, but”—she puts up both hands, palms thrusting forward at me—“can I at least sleep in my own bed?”
“No.” Then I kinda laugh.
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t trust you. I’m going out on a huge limb for you, Clover. You don’t even understand how fucked I will be if I get caught. I’m not giving you any more chances.”
“But… you could come up there with me.” She smiles here and her whole face brightens. “Wouldn’t you like to sleep in the bed?”