Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 61037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
But I dismiss that notion as quickly as it lands in my head. His novels end one way only.
I can’t get caught up in how River and I might play out like a fantasy when I’m still trying to figure out what River wants in reality.
If he wants the same things I do. If he’ll take the same risks.
Best to play it safe for a little longer, conduct some more recon before I launch my big you’re the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person on my mind before I fall asleep confessional.
Once we step out of the hot tub, I put my glasses back on. I wrap a towel around my waist, grab his, then wink at him and hoof it to the door.
River stares sharp knives at me. “You wouldn’t,” he hisses.
“Looks like I just did,” I say, with an easy shrug, waggling the towel, taunting him.
“You’re the worst. You’re so mean,” he says, stepping out of the hot tub in his full naked glory.
“Don’t mind me. I’m just ogling you,” I tell him, twirling my finger in his direction.
The freedom to stare at him feels so good.
Admitting this attraction is a terrible relief. It’s like an illness had been brewing inside me, until there was no more room for it. It was a fever I needed to burn off.
“Come and get it,” I tease.
“Oh, I’m coming. And you will be too when I’m through with you tonight, hottie,” he says with a growl.
I wiggle my brow. “I’ll hold you to that,” I say as I savor the view of him striding naked across the deck toward me. His toned body glistens with drops of water in the moonlight. When River reaches me, I lift the towel over my head. “You’re not that much taller, cutie,” he says, and then grabs the towel and wraps it around his waist.
“Maybe I just wanted to stare at you,” I say, then I open the door and we head back inside.
River parks a hand on my shoulder, spins me around. His eyes are blazing. “Owen,” he begins, his voice husky, but stretched with nerves too.
Not now. Don’t break my heart now.
“Yeah?”
“This,” he says, gesturing from him to me. “This is what I meant earlier when I said things started to change.”
My heart thunders. So he can feel it too.
Don’t get ahead of yourself, Owen. Test the waters slowly. Take the temperature. “What changed?”
“In the car,” River says. “I felt all . . . hot and bothered by you.”
I try to rein in a grin, but it’s futile. “You did?”
“In the store too. I was checking you out as you were walking around.”
I burn up, a rocket blasting through the atmosphere. “You were?”
“That’s why I freaked out over staying here alone with you. All I could think was we were going to combust,” he says, his voice shaky.
My heart squeezes, like it’s giving itself a warm hug. “And we did.”
“We sure did,” he says, then drags a hand down my chest, making me shiver. “And I want to again.” River licks his lips, takes a breath, then locks eyes with me. “But I’m also terrified of losing you.”
There it is. The risk. The biggest risk of all.
I swallow roughly. “I’m scared of the same thing,” I say, and that feels like an even bigger admission than the one I shared before I kissed him.
The years.
“And I don’t know what to do about it, Owen.”
I breathe out hard, stripping my emotions bare when I answer, “I don’t either.”
River nods a few times, like he’s absorbing this then maybe resetting himself. “Maybe we should talk about it tomorrow.”
Yes. Tomorrow.
We’ll figure it all out tomorrow. Like I tell my players, it’s best to sleep on big decisions. See how you feel in the bright light of day. Morning has a way of making sense of everything—big talks, big moments. This is one of them, and tomorrow we’ll find the right time.
A huge sigh of relief falls from my chest. As much as I want an answer with a big fucking bow on it, I’m positive it’s not coming right now. “Let’s make the best of tonight,” I say.
Since I don’t entirely know what he’s most afraid of.
Losing me if we fuck. Losing me if we fall in love. Or losing me if we fall out of love.
And honestly, right this second, I don’t want to know.
A few minutes later, we’re dried off and standing in the kitchen where I’m making hot cocoa on the stove. I’m dressed in a pair of dark gray gym shorts and no shirt as I stir the milk and cocoa in a pot on a medium flame. River’s in blue flannel pajama pants, hanging low on his hips, giving me a fantastic view of his chest and arms as he dips his hand into the popcorn bag, picking up where we left off during the game.