Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 140874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
“Because I was learning to be honest. I haven’t been great with that, lately.”
“Neither have I.” She took a shaky breath. “I know that Deja told you I was having a problem with the money—”
“I’m not with him because of his money,” I interjected. I’d been wanting to say that to her since the day we’d fought.
She gave me a tight, closed-lipped smile. “I know. I know you’re not, because I saw everything you went through to be with him. But I wanted to hurt you, so I acted like I thought you were just in it for the cash. And I said hurtful things. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry for getting Deja fired.” I was eager to change the subject from her uncomfortable apology.
“Deja got herself fired.” Holli shook her head and made a noise communicating her disgust. “I told her she couldn’t keep hanging out with Gabriella and working for Neil at the same time. I tried to get her to quit—”
“Wait, you knew about this?” I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. If she had known that Deja was the mole even before I’d gotten fired… “How long have you known?”
“She told me after I got back from London.” The answer came so easily, I had no reason to doubt it. “After she saw how sick Neil was…she just felt really guilty.”
“So why didn’t you tell me?” So much of this entire betrayal thing could have been fixed if she’d just been honest.
“Because it seemed unfair. Neil was dying. And I couldn’t lay all of this on you.” Holli twisted her cheap paper napkin, then dropped it on the table. “What were you going to do? How were you going to deal with that, when you were losing your boyfriend to cancer?”
I couldn’t come up with an answer. All I could think about was what Neil had told me about Valerie, and how he wished he hadn’t told her that he’d cheated on her, because it was unfair to drop bad news on her right before Emma was born.
“You’re right,” I sighed. “That would have destroyed me. But you should have told me after he was in the clear. He got out of the hospital in freaking September. Why not tell me then?”
“There was no way she could have kept her job. I know that sounds shitty, but…” She shrugged. “You chose Neil over me. I chose Deja over you. That’s just how it is, I guess.”
A server stepped over and apologized for our wait. I ordered a slice of pie and a chocolate egg cream.
“Not doing the vegan thing anymore?”
She’d tried to make it sound like casual, natural conversation, so I did the same. “Nah. We were doing it for health reasons, but now it’s like, I just want dairy products in my life again.”
Weighty silence fell between us.
“You know, it would have helped if Deja had done the ethical thing and quit working for Neil when she changed her mind about helping Gabriella out,” I pointed out gently. “I felt like it was really unfair of you to just cut me off like that. We’ve been friends for the better part of a decade, Holli. You’re going through so much. You’re about to get married. And the idea of you going through all of that stress without me to help you—I mean, not that you can’t do it yourself, that’s not what I meant—”
“I know what you meant.” The ghost of a smile bent her mouth. “It’s been really hard. It’s been a nightmare, actually. Planning a wedding is hard, and Deja has like, completely taken it over. My bridesmaids are hopeless, my maid of honor got freaking pregnant and is too busy with her nonstop baby obsession. Deja completely rejected my farm theme—”
“Farm…theme?” I could only imagine what Holli had proposed.
“Yeah, I thought it would be cool to do this urban farm thing, where the guests sat on hay bales and chickens clucked around, but the chickens would be dyed our colors? And like, since I wasn’t talking to you, I wanted a goat to be my maid of honor.” A spark of the old Holli peeked through, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“You really thought she was going to go for that?” Then I paused. “Wait, you’re saying that a step down from me was a goat? Like, if I couldn’t be there, a goat was a suitable stand in?”
“I was irrationally angry with you,” she reminded me. “Look, I didn’t want this fight to drag out this long. But every time I thought of calling you or emailing you, I would just get mad all over again. Not at you, but at the whole situation. I wanted to believe that you were at fault and Deja did nothing wrong, even when she kept saying, ‘I am responsible for this.’”