Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 117872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
He touches my shoulder. “I do.”
That’s it. Two firm, clear words. They say everything. Beck wants to know me.
“Wyatt and I split more than two years ago, but the night he ended it shocked me. I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. I couldn’t make it to his work event, and he got pissed. He said he was always there for me, but I never was for him. And that’s when he said when you quit football, look me up.”
Beck cringes. “That’s awful.”
“It’s not like football is everything, but it is my job,” I say with residual frustration.
“And your passion,” he adds.
“Imagine if I told him not to do venture shit or whatever. That would be awful. But he had no problem giving me an ultimatum. It was basically . . . the NFL or him.”
Beck sighs sympathetically. “For what it’s worth, I think you chose wisely.”
I smile. “Me too. Football doesn’t give you ultimatums. Football doesn’t lie to you. Football just says let’s play.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever not loved football,” Beck says wistfully as he stares at the ceiling. “When I’m out there, it all feels . . . like it’s what I’m supposed to do.”
“Same here. But it’s hard to have this job and sustain a relationship, don’t you think?” It’s a question, but I’m pretty sure I’m protecting myself too. I already feel such a pull toward Beck; I’ve got to do something or say something to make sure I don’t topple completely. This is my feeble attempt at erecting a wall.
“I don’t actually know, though I get your meaning,” he says. “I haven’t been with anyone since Rachel.”
“Your college girlfriend?”
“She’s pretty much my only serious relationship. I haven’t even kissed anyone since . . . last year in your house,” he says.
This man lights me up with each revelation. I want to bury my face in his neck and inhale him. I want to kiss him everywhere. And I want to get inside him really soon. “There was no one else for me either,” I say, giving him a little piece of my heart too.
His lips twitch in a grin. He tries so hard to fight it, and I just want to wipe it off with my mouth. But I also want to know the rest of the story on his body. I slide my finger from the lotus over to the mythical lion on his chest. “This is for your brother? Griffin?”
“Yes.”
I journey to the sunbursts on his shoulder, set against a blue sky. “And this?”
“It just reminds me to breathe,” he says. An easy answer for a complicated person.
I smile, loving the simplicity. Loving, too, the way he’s learned how to manage. “Like, you look at the sky, you take a breath, you soak in the sun, and everything’s going to be okay?”
His expression is gentle but wise. “Exactly.”
My pulse gallops, fueled by new emotions rushing through me. His ink is even sexier now that I know what’s behind it. Now that I see the windows into his soul.
I shift closer, cup his face with one hand, and savor a few risky seconds looking into his eyes. Dangerous thoughts race through my head.
Let’s do this tomorrow.
Come over next week.
Do you feel this too?
He has to hear the wild drumbeat of my heart. But I hope he can’t. I’m not ready for him to know what he’s doing to me.
“You have such great eyes,” I say, then I shut myself up with a kiss, swallowing all the words that could hurt me.
He could hurt me.
We kiss for a long time until I’m aware of the clock, the way it’s ticking closer to decisions.
When we come up for air, he makes all the decisions I want when he says, “You wanna spend the night?”
I smile. “I do. But can we watch a show too?”
“Yes, Jason,” he says, then mutters, “You do too have a crush on me.”
Only it’s so much more than a crush.
We strip down to boxers and take care of the unfinished business of watching Unfinished Business.
Finally, I catch up on the missed episodes, but when Jamie and Zoe fight in the stairwell, I flip Jude’s character the bird. “No way,” I shout at the screen.
Beck nudges me. “That’s just how it goes. They have to break them up to get them back together.”
“Thanks. I didn’t realize how stories worked,” I say drily.
We finish another episode, and I sigh in relief when Jude’s character starts to make up with his love interest.
The season’s not over, but as a yawn takes hold of me, I’m pretty sure my night is. Beck closes his laptop, sets it on the nightstand, then slides under the covers. “You gonna go for a ten in the cuddling event this time?”
“Fuck yes, I am,” I say. “Turn the other way.”