Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78149 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78149 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“I really don’t think so, Dad.”
He rubbed his hands together as he composed his thoughts. He always took a long time to think things through before he said them out loud. “When Valerie told me she was pregnant with you, I didn’t want you.”
I stilled at his confession, surprised by his candor. I turned to look at him.
“I even wanted her to get an abortion. She said no. And then you were born…and I loved you more than anything in the world. I’m so ashamed that I ever said that to her, and I’m so grateful Valerie said no. You were born, and then you were my best friend. I understand your reservations, Derek. But trust me, it’s the greatest joy you’ll ever experience. When your mom said she wanted to have more kids, I was hesitant…until she was pregnant with your brother. Then after Daisy was born, I was the one who wanted to have another one, and she said she was done.”
I wasn’t hurt by his confession because all I’d ever felt every single day was his unconditional love. There was never a doubt in my mind that I was the light of his life, that he wouldn’t know what to do if he ever lost me. “Maybe you’re right, but I still don’t want to be a stepfather. If it were my own kid, maybe I would feel that way—but this is a twelve-year-old girl. I wish Emerson had told me the truth when we met. Then I never would have developed these feelings for her at all.”
He turned back to me, his eyebrow raised. “You really think it would have made a difference?”
I didn’t answer.
“Derek, what you’re describing is pretty deep, so I really don’t think knowing about her daughter would have changed anything. You wouldn’t be here talking to me about this unless your emotions were consuming you. Whenever I try to talk to you about this stuff, you’re closed like a clam, but here you are…lost.”
I stared at the floor.
“Are you really going to lose this woman because of this? You really think you’re ever going to feel this way about anyone else?”
No.
“Because it’s been ten years since your last relationship, Derek. She’s the first woman to bring you back to life. Don’t lose her just because you have two women to love instead of one.”
Thirteen
Emerson
I stepped inside the lab with the bag of dinner. Pierre and Jerome had left at five, like normal people, but Derek lingered, his mind occupied with the work that remained unfinished…even though his work was always unfinished.
He sat on the stool at the work bench, his cheek resting against his closed knuckles, his eyes staring at the math that made no sense to any normal person. His protective goggles were still on because he’d forgotten to remove them hours ago.
We’d spent the week falling back into our old relationship, just with a thin mask of tension on top. It was hard to hide my attraction to him because my eyes wanted to drink him in all the time, and to a certain extent, I didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore. I’d already confessed that he was the hottest hunk of man I’d ever seen. Everything was on the table. But it was also hard because I was devastated that the person I loved most was the reason I couldn’t have him.
I wouldn’t change anything even if I could, but it still sucked.
I brought the food to the table. “I have good news.”
He lifted his chin immediately, giving me all of his attention just like he used to, not ignoring me like he had over the last few weeks. It was nice to be us again, to be close again, even if it hurt my heart. It wasn’t like I could date other men anyway, so my feelings for him weren’t affecting my love life.
I didn’t believe there was any man out there good enough to be around my daughter. “I graded their exams, and everyone did well. One student got a B, but the rest were As.”
He pulled the glasses off his face, and a slight smile moved onto his lips. “That makes me happy.” It was ironic that he wasn’t interested in having a family of his own or willing to have a relationship with my daughter, because he cared about his students like a parent cared about their kids. But I didn’t tell him that because I didn’t want to have to persuade a man to be with me. That wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted to have.
“Hungry?” I pulled out the containers of food and set one in front of him.
“I wasn’t a second ago.” He pulled it close and opened the lid.
I took a seat across from him and started to eat my dinner.