Total pages in book: 241
Estimated words: 234779 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1174(@200wpm)___ 939(@250wpm)___ 783(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 234779 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1174(@200wpm)___ 939(@250wpm)___ 783(@300wpm)
“It’s not the skirt’s fault,” I assure her, braving my way to take a seat at the kitchen table across from her. “It was the boy.”
She presses her lips together in a thin, grim line. “I guess you liked him.”
I look down at the table. “I wasn’t with Sherlock. The party we went to was at Hunter’s house.”
Mom sighs. “Ah. Good ol’ Hunter Maxwell.”
I nod wordlessly, not knowing what to say.
“So… wow. I don’t really know how to have this conversation. You spent the night. Were you drinking?”
I shake my head. “No.”
She nods grimly.
It seems like that would be the right answer, but maybe she would prefer if I had been drinking. Getting drunk and crashing at his house could have still been responsible. It could have been sexless.
To save us both time and get it over with, I say, “I need to get on some form of birth control.”
She sucks in a breath, then lets it out, nodding more forcefully. “Okay,” she says, sounding like she’s holding her breath. “We can do that. I trust you were safe this time?”
I hesitate, tempted to tell a white lie to set her mind at ease, but… I don’t want to lie. “No,” I say softly, apologetically.
“No?”
I look up at her, a remorseful glint in my eye. “I’m sorry. I tried. I—”
I stop just short of telling her I brought a condom with me just in case. If I tell her that, she’ll blame Hunter for not using it, and she already blames him for enough.
Reframing the truth, I look down and say, “We got caught up in the moment. It was really stupid. I knew better, but it just… I messed up.”
With some effort, she keeps her mouth shut, but I can hear her breathing purposefully, trying to keep her cool. “Wow, I should’ve made this an Irish coffee.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her again.
“It’s okay. Please don’t ever do it again, but… it’s done now. We’ll just hope nothing comes of it.” She tries to leave it at that, I can see her trying, but the words burst out of her despite her valiant attempt. “Do you understand why he bothers me? You’re the most responsible kid in the world, there is no way you would ever have unprotected sex and risk throwing away your whole future for a few minutes of fun, and then you get in a room with him, and poof! Common sense and self-control fly out the window, somehow you let him talk you into doing things you would never do otherwise.”
“I get it, Mom. It’s not all his fault. I was there, too. I made a mistake.”
“A big one,” she says, looking at me like I’m already pregnant.
“It won’t happen again,” I tell her. “That’s why I’m telling you I need birth control. To make sure it never happens again.”
“It could be too late, Riley.”
“Let’s not stress about it right now,” I tell her, since I already put myself through that last time.
“You know better,” she tells me.
“I love him,” I blurt.
Her eyes go wide. Her mouth falls open.
I deflate, a little shocked at myself.
There’s so much she doesn’t know, that probably doesn’t even make any sense to her. She probably thinks it’s too soon, that I’m swept up. She probably doesn’t trust those words. Maybe saying them before she feels they’re justified even makes her trust me a little less.
I know I’m not exactly demonstrating excellent judgment skills right now, and I know that she foists every bit of that blame off on Hunter because she always has.
“I know your opinion of him, and I know he has made some mistakes, but I care about him very much. And I care about you very much. And I want the people I love to like each other.”
Mom looks at me like I’ve just given her grave news.
“I’m not saying it will even necessarily come up—maybe it never will. Maybe you’ll never even have to see him, but if it does, and especially if this doesn’t go the way we hope it will and… there’s a baby, I’m begging you to have an open mind and give him a chance. He isn’t a bad person. I really think you’d like him if you got to know him.”
I can see her trying to hold a brave face, but her eyes look so sad.
I swallow. “Everything’s fine right now. I doubt I got pregnant from one stupid mistake, so, let’s not get all upset over nothing. Nothing has changed. People have unsafe sex all the time and think nothing of it. I think you and I are just more aware of it because… well, because of our life. It seems like the end of the world, but it’s probably not. And I’ve already yelled at Hunter for not remembering to use a condom. He has been duly chastised,” I promise.