Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 129427 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129427 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
And then I got it.
Oh god. I totally got it.
I’m pregnant.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I’m pregnant.
“No.” I shook my head. “No, no, no, no.”
It wasn’t an ulcer, it wasn’t a stomach bug. I was pregnant.
I couldn’t be.
My mind flicked back through every time we’d had sex. It was impossible that I was pregnant. I was on birth control. We used protection. If my pills had a 98% effective rate, and condoms had a 98% effective rate, we should have been nearly 200% certain of this not happening, right?
Deja sat up, scooting Holli forward so she could swing her legs off the couch. “Okay, okay, I’ve done this before, there is no reason to panic. I’m going to Duane Reade to get you a test. Holli, you keep her calm, and get a calendar. Try to figure out where things got fucked up.”
It was too late. Like hitting a run of pieces in a jigsaw puzzle, everything fit together really fast. I hadn’t had a stomach bug. I’d had awful morning sickness that had just come and gone at all crazy hours. And I wasn’t tired all the time from too much sex. Well, I was tired all the time from too much sex, but mostly from being overloaded with baby hormones.
I felt like I was going to throw up, and not as a pregnancy symptom. I raced to my room and grabbed my laptop. I pulled up my schedule as Holli stood next to my bed, her arms crossed over her chest.
“You guys weren’t using protection?” she asked, chewing on her bottom lip.
“I was on the pill, and we used condoms. We only went without one time. But it seemed fine, you know, we’d both had recent check-ups...” How could that sound so unbelievably stupid now, when it had seemed totally sensible back then? “I’m not crazy, right? I should have been safe.”
“It only takes one unlucky time, Soph. And remember how you’re always saying that the green pills are a waste, you don’t even take them, because you can always remember what day you need to start the pink ones?” Holli lowered her voice. “And you just thought it might seriously be Christmas Eve.”
Oh god. Had I started a pack late? Way late? I thought I might hyperventilate and pass out at the slow realization that I’d probably done exactly that. I’d been so busy with work, and the takeover… and the stupid, reckless fun of a new relationship. I’d probably been missing pills left and right. Sophie. You’re an idiot.
“You know, this happens,” Holli tried in an attempt at moral support. “Not to careful people. You’re just… I hate to bust out the tough love, but I thought you were smarter than this, homie.”
I looked up at her, and burst into tears. “I just lost my job!”
She sat beside me and wrapped her arms around me. “Hey, it’s going to be fine. If you are pregnant, you have some options. Neil isn’t going to just abandon you, right? He’s a good guy.”
He was a good guy. But how on earth was this conversation going to go? Hey, Neil, I’m really embarrassed, and please don’t flip out, but we’ve replicated and now I need to borrow some money even though I’ve rejected every offer of help you’ve ever given me and also I kind of helped sabotage your company. Oh, and you divorced your ex over something similar. But we’re cool, right?
Holli rubbed my back supportively as I looked at my online calendar. But I couldn’t remember when my last period was. I had no fucking clue, because I didn’t chart it, I used my pills to keep track.
Jesus, I’d really thought it wouldn’t happen to me. And now it had and it was terrifying.
“What am I going to do?” I looked up at Holli, fully aware that my mascara was probably running in rivers down my face from the tears I couldn’t hold back. I held up my hands helplessly. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to do whatever’s best for you,” Holli stated firmly, resting her cheek on my shoulder as she put her arms around me. “You don’t want kids though, right?”
“No, oh god, never.” I sat back and shook my head, feeling awful. Was I a bad mother?
No, that was crazy talk. I wasn’t a mother. I was an... accidental incubator. A horrible fear gripped me. “What if he’s changed his mind? He said he didn’t want anymore kids, but what if I tell him I’m pregnant and he wants to keep the...”
I couldn’t even say the word.
“It’s not up to him, Soph.”
That didn’t make it any easier. That just meant I had to make this decision all on my own.
No, you don’t, I reminded myself. You’re just freaking out. Neil is in love with you. He’s going to be just as mortified by all this as you are. I had to tell him. Shit, before I even took the test, I had to tell him, if for no other reason than to demand he buy a condom company, because this was not happening again.