Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
I fought the need to come, determined to make this last as long as I could. When I knew I couldn’t take another second of the delicious heat of his mouth, I pulled out. He reached for me, but I pushed him back.
He smiled up at me as he licked precum from his lips. “I know you want to give me your load.”
I did, and I would, but it wasn’t going to be this quick or this easy. Matteo would be thrilled to drink me down, but I wasn’t worried about what he wanted. This was about me, and what I wanted—needed—from him was to make him surrender to me. He was going to give me everything I wanted. I would make him beg me to use him. I needed to know he would crawl for me the way I had for him before he betrayed me. It didn’t matter what he said. He could have told me what he was doing if I’d meant enough to him.
And if he had, you would have told him not to do it.
Yeah, and I would have been right.
I didn’t give a fuck if he was still technically working for the good guys. Because of him, good men had lost their careers. I’d been forced to come home forever. I’d had to face my fucking family again. To be near them, right here in the city where it was so tempting to take the money from them that most people would say I deserved.
You wanted to keep running. Would that have ultimately changed anything?
I’d never know.
“Carter?” Matteo’s voice was softer that it had any business being. How long had I been lost in thought? “Do you want to talk to me?”
“No. I want to hurt you.”
“Okay.”
“Is it? Will you just take whatever you can from me?”
His eyes widened like I’d surprised him.
7
MATTEO
Would I take anything I could get from Carter? Any crumb he’d drop for me? Right here, right now, when it was just the two of us, when I had the taste of his him on my lips, fuck yes I would.
Especially when he was looking at me like he was broken, and he blamed me for it.
“What do you want to do to me?”
“I want you to be as desperate as I always was. I want you to feel like I did, like you’d do anything to keep this going.”
Oh my God. He’d…he really had fallen for me before.
I stood and took hold of his hands. When he flinched at my touch, nausea curled in my stomach, but I held his gaze. “I won’t hurt you anymore.”
“Why should I believe that?”
“Do you really think I wasn’t just as desperate for you? That I didn’t need you more than air itself?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You needed to get off, and I was convenient.”
Why had I ever let him think that? “You bought that bullshit?”
“Stop fucking manipulating me. I had enough of that before. You knew what you were doing. Getting me addicted to you when you were working with the CIA, knowing what you were going to do and how it would look, but continuing on like we were just having fun fucking while we survived the jungle together.”
“It wasn’t just fucking, and you know it.”
“Stop.” He shoved me away. “I don’t need your lies.”
Feeling him push me away was almost as painful as leaving him in the jungle had been. I was ready to talk now, to tell him the truth, but he wouldn’t believe me. He didn’t want to hear it, and really, that was what I deserved, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
I grabbed his bag from where he’d dropped it on the floor.
“Fuck no,” he yelled, tugging it back as I tried to keep a hold on it and unzip it.
“There have to be cuffs in here somewhere.”
“You think I’m going to let you—”
“No, idiot, you’re going to restrain me, then I’ll be yours to tease, fuck, hurt any way you want.”
His eyes went wide. “What?”
“You heard me.”
I stomped over to the bed, stripped myself naked, then lay on my stomach and pulled my knees up under myself. When I crossed my wrists at the base of my spine, Carter sucked in his breath, and I turned my head so I could see his reaction.
His mouth hung open as he stared at me. His cock stood out from his body. Precum dipped from the tip, and I wanted to taste it again. I wanted to swallow his load. I prayed I’d get another chance to, but right now I had to work with what I had: Carter’s desperate need to punish me.
If I could force him to let go, to pour out his rage into me, to use me like he wanted to, then I had a chance. He wasn’t going to see reason until that was done. He wasn’t ready to consider that maybe I’d done the best I could. Would I be able to make him believe that, even if I never told him the real reasons behind my decisions? Even if he never knew just how big of a part he played in it?