Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 37293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 186(@200wpm)___ 149(@250wpm)___ 124(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 186(@200wpm)___ 149(@250wpm)___ 124(@300wpm)
Yeah, he’d been with his fair share of women, but it wasn’t like he had a female in his bed every other night. He found company at times, because he was alone in Silver Springs now, and loneliness could eat a man alive.
“I’ve always used protection with a woman.”
Shoshanna moved toward him, sat on the edge of the bed, and breathed out. “Except me.” She looked at him. “And I’m not on the pill.”
His heart started beating a little faster at that, because this was not something he’d thought about in the heat of the moment, or when he had been drunk. The fact was all he’d been thinking about was being with Shoshanna, touching her lush, curvy body, and finally sampling all that the good girl had to offer.
Before he could respond, say something that wouldn’t make this situation even more fucked, his cell went off.
He got off the bed, grabbed his boxers and slipped them on before heading to his dresser for his phone. He saw his mother’s number on the screen, knitting his brows because it was early as hell for her to be calling.
This knot in his stomach formed.
“Hey, Mom.” Since his mother had moved to Utah a few years back to relocate with his father, Toby had been alone in Silver Springs. It got lonely at times, but his job was here, his friends that he hung out with when they had time, and he wouldn’t move just to have to start over again. This was his home and had been for his entire life.
“Toby,” his mother said, and it sounded like she was crying.
He glanced at Shoshanna and saw her watching him. He held up a finger for her to give him a minute. “Mom, what’s wrong?” He left the bedroom, feeling his heart start to race, his palms sweat, and this dread filling him.
“It’s your father.” She sniffed. “He’s had a heart attack and passed away.”
Toby stared at the wall, and continued to hear his mother say those words over and over again. Although he should feel some kind of remorse, sadness, even pain, all he felt was this emptiness. “I’m coming now.” He hung up the phone and continued to stare at the wall, thinking about the fucked-up childhood he’d had thanks to his old man.
“Toby, is everything okay?”
He turned and stared at Shoshanna, wishing that he’d gotten this call when she wasn’t here, because this made this shitty situation even worse. He just wanted to bask in the aftereffects of being with her, of feeling things for her he’d never felt in his life. Toby turned and faced her. She sat on the edge of the bed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap and her nervousness tangible.
No doubt she could see how he stood there still as stone, tense with the anger he felt emitting from him. Hell, he felt like he would combust at any minute from what he felt.
“My dad passed away.” He stared at her and watched as her eyes widened. “That was my mother.” He leaned against the dresser and crossed his arms, staring at the floor.
“I’m so sorry. You must be crushed.” Her voice was genuine, her emotions full and loving, but he felt nothing for what had happened.
“I don’t feel anything but this emptiness,” he said without emotion.
“That’s understandable,” she said.
He shook his head. “No, I mean I feel nothing for his death. He was a bastard.”
“Oh,” Shoshanna said in a softer voice. They stayed silent for a moment, and then she breathed out and said, “Well, I’m sorry about that, too.”
He stared at her knowing this woman was one of a kind, but also realizing that he didn’t deserve her. He’d been a piece of shit his entire life, taking what was offered to him because he could, and not caring about anything that didn’t have to do with his end result.
What a bastard he’d been. After senior year she had gone off to college, and he had immersed himself in work, climbing the ranks of the construction company he was affiliated with, and where he was now the foreman.
He worked hard, made an honest living, and although he wasn’t the same asshole he’d been in high school, he was far from a good guy.
But looking at Shoshanna made him want to be a better person, had made him feel that way back in senior year.
He wanted to strive like she had in her life, and it made him hate the reputation he had for being a bad boy.
12
One week later
Toby felt like he was suffocating in this black suit. He stood under the awning that covered his father’s gravesite. The air was humid and warm because of the heat and rain, and the sound of hushed murmurs and sorrowful cries filled his head.