Total pages in book: 12
Estimated words: 11130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 37(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 11130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 37(@300wpm)
But the thought of living the rest of my life without sharing my truth is even scarier.
What do we have in this life without our truth? As far as I can tell, our job here on earth is to know our truth and share it and live inside it as much as possible.
Besides, it’s like that old proverb says: nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I pull in a breath—still not sure what I’m going to say, only that I have to say it. But when I speak, I blurt out, “You first.”
“No, you,” Jess says, bobbing her eyebrows up and down. “And if I’m lucky, by the time we’re finished talking about your thing, we’ll forget to talk about mine.”
I shake my head. “Nope, no way. You were upset back there, I could tell. What’s going on with you? You never get shiny eyes.”
She bends her knees, wrapping her arms around them. “It’s nothing. Just end of camp blues.”
“Huh,” I grunt. “You’re still a bad liar.”
She turns my way with an indignant laugh. “That’s mean.”
“It’s true.”
“No, it’s not. I mean, fine, sure, I suck at lying to other people. But when it comes to myself…” She exhales a shaky breath before adding in a whisper, “I don’t think I can do it, Sam. I can leave everything I love behind and start pre-med in a year. I don’t want to be a doctor, any kind of doctor. I really, really don’t.”
“Woah. But that’s been the plan for—”
“For forever,” she cuts in, her voice rising. “Yeah, I know. But it was never my plan. I pretended it was my plan because I didn’t want to make waves with Mom and Dad and because graduating from high school felt a million miles away. But it’s not a million miles away anymore. It’s going to be here before I know it, and the thought of dedicating my life to cutting things out of people or mopping up snot makes me want to throw up. I know someone needs to cut the things and wipe the goo, but it shouldn’t be me. I’m going to be really bad at it. I’m always terrible at things I hate. Remember bowling? I was so bad at bowling, and I was really trying there for a while.”
“You were,” I agree. “So…how are your parents going to take this revelation? I’m assuming you haven’t told them yet.”
She snorts. “Fudge no, I haven’t. Are you kidding me? They want me to be a doctor only slightly less than they want me to keep inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide. If I tell them I want to go to school to become a game designer, they’ll kill me. Dead.”
“They won’t kill you.”
“Or disown me,” she amends. “Or check me into a mental hospital for wayward girls to have the disobedience zapped out of my brain. Most hospitals don’t take kids for reasons like that anymore, but I bet my mom can find one. You know Mrs. Cho. Once she gets her mind set, she’s unstoppable.”
“Kind of like her daughter,” I say, doubling down when Jess shakes her head. “Yes, you are. You’re every bit as stubborn as your mom and this is your life and future. It might take a few hard conversations, but in the end, your mom is going to see that this is your decision to make. I know she will. She loves you and she wants you to be happy.”
Jess shrinks, curling her upper body closer to her bent knees. “The thought of those conversations also makes me want to throw up. When did I become such a chicken?” She fingers the edge of her cape, near the singe mark from where she leapt the fire. “I used to be so brave.”
I rest my hand on her knee, giving it a squeeze. “You still are. Things are just harder now. Growing up is hard.”
She looks up, her eyes filled with relief. “You think so, too?”
“You’re talking to the guy who grew seven inches in sixteen months and is so skinny he disappears when he turns sideways,” I say dryly. “Of course, I do.”
She smiles. “You don’t disappear. You’re just a little harder to see. And at least your hair isn’t an utter disaster.”
“What? You have great hair.”
She arches a wry brow. “If you love Dora the Explorer.”
I consider the new haircut again and laugh. “Oh, shit.”
“Right? I’m a dead ringer. And since you so helpfully supplied a map, all I need is a backpack to complete the look.”
“I hate to agree with you,” I tease. “But once seen, it can’t be unseen.”
“Go ahead, have your laugh, I can take it.” She sighs. “What I can’t take is all the growing up stuff avalanching down on me at once. Do you ever feel like it’s literally going to crush you to pieces?”