Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 74631 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74631 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Of course I did not give up so easily then. I raged through the castle destroying tapestries and paintings and vases for days until I could control the beast. When I finally trusted myself enough, I was covered in sweat and weaker than I had ever been, but with the last of my strength I dragged myself outside.
The wall had been built by magic while I was inside the castle. It was too large and too sturdy to have been built by human hands and had the scent of magic about it. I thought it had been built to keep the villagers away, to protect them from me, but once I passed through I began to reconsider. The magic was weaker outside the iron gates, and I felt weaker as I walked. By the time I reached the village I knew I had made a terrible mistake.
The villagers were terrified of me. They did not trust me and looked upon me as a dangerous animal who could not be allowed to live. There was not only terror, but there was anger and even hate. All they knew of the prince was that he had been fed to the beast, and when I spoke, my words did not fall on their ears as any language they could understand. They had begun to confuse the power of the witch with me, and stories had spread about how I could not be controlled. They had already imagined the worst and turned on me, trying to kill me. They beat me until I was almost senseless and when I ran, trying to get to safety, they chased after me.
Their betrayal was my undoing. Still now, I regret sacrificing myself for their souls.
The magic was too weak near the village to protect me, and I could not defend myself. I barely made it back to the castle, bloodied and terribly injured as I was. The magic inside the castle did its best to help me heal, but as it did, the villagers began storming the estate.
They brought planks and long nails with them, and their plan was to crucify me in my courtyard.
No, that is not true. Their plan was to crucify the beast, and they could not see that I was still part of him. The anger and pain still brew inside of me at the memory. I can still hear the thunder.
I was the only one in the castle by then. There was no one to defend me save myself. I did not want to kill them, but they could not understand me or did not want to. I still remember their screams as they died. I still remember their bravery, fighting to the last man. When the final man had fallen, the women fled to the village. I have no doubt they told the tale of what a vicious animal I was, though I was only trying to stay alive. I know they would not have told the stories in the way I remember it, because all they saw was a bloodthirsty beast.
In fairness, there are days when I am as bloodthirsty as he is because the nature of the beast is overpowering. There are times when I hardly remember my life as it was before I was cursed. Tendrils of darkness swirl through the mists of the forests to this day, and enough of the villagers are aware of them that they look upon those remnants as proof that evil still inhabits the castle.
I blink several times, returning from my memories. On the rose, the petal that had been quivering in that invisible breeze comes loose and floats to the floor of the cloche.
I release a heavy sigh, doing my best to come to terms with my thoughts.
The truth is that I no longer wish to stop the petals from falling. In the early days of the curse, I was so desperate to stop it that I would have held them onto the stem with both my hands, withering away in this tower room. I tossed and turned in bed, trying to find a way to free myself from the curse through the power of my will and finding nothing but dead ends.
Now, I no longer need to search for a way to keep the petals on the stem. It is no longer my most important consideration. I will no longer dwell on the days I have left, for there is no sense in it, and counting them will not change their number.
I will have this peace with Elle for as many days as I can. Numbing my pain. She helps me remember who I used to want to be. I will accept the peace I have with her for that long and no longer, because I will not be here when it is done.