Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Especially since he pins the fabric to my legs so it gets caught around my upper arms instead of dropping to the table.
Gaeton’s expression goes predatory. “You don’t want to talk about this.”
“No, I don’t.” Honesty is as heady as it is terrifying. Something has been knocked loose inside me, and it’s bubbling closer and closer to the surface; things I can’t say, that I need to keep silent. I promised honesty, but I didn’t promise that I’d cut myself open for them without prompting.
His thumbs skate over my knees, a contemplative touch that makes me shiver. There’s no softness on his face, no warmth to take shelter in. He looks at me like I’m an enemy he will fully enjoy taking apart. “Say what you mean, Isabelle. I can see you fighting it. Stop playing the perfect princess and spit it the fuck out.”
I try to clamp my lips together, to keep the truth inside, but it’s carried forth on a tsunami of hurt and there’s no stopping it. “You lied to me.”
He flinches. It’s a tiny movement, barely perceptible, but there nonetheless. “I never lied to you.”
“Really, Gaeton? Really?” I look over his shoulder at Beast. “You both lied to me the entire time we were dating. You held yourselves back, you presented me with one side of yourself and nothing more. You kept this from me.” I try to motion around us, but my hands are mostly trapped by the blanket. “You both decided you knew what I needed and you didn’t stop to talk to me about it. Not once.” My throat goes hot and tight, but I can’t stop now that I’ve started. “You touched me like I was some breakable precious thing because you knew best. You were starving me and neither of you cared, because all that mattered was playing Prince Charming to the princess you put on a pedestal. You can hate me for not being able to choose, but how was I supposed to make a choice when neither of you gave me anything approximating an honest relationship?”
Gaeton leans forward. “Isabelle—”
But it’s too late. I can’t stop. I’m not even sure I want to anymore. “And what the fuck did you think was going to happen if I did choose? That you’d just be happy with sweet, vanilla sex for the rest of your life? That we wouldn’t start resenting each other for the parts we weren’t allowed to show? That eventually one of us wouldn’t set the whole relationship on fire just to feel something?”
His brows lower. “I would never cheat on you.”
“No one can make promises when they’re starving. Maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe I would be the one. Did you think about that?”
“You’re a good girl, Isabelle. Forgive the fuck out of me for wanting to treat you like it.”
“No. You don’t get to do that. You do not get to whore-or-virgin me. I’m a person and people are complicated. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me.” I finally look up at Beast and he’s standing there like I just pulled out a gun and shot him in the chest. “Neither of you get to make that call, especially without talking to me.”
Gaeton lets go of my legs and sits back. “I’d say we learned that the hard way.”
“Did you?” I carefully set my feet on the seat of the chair on either side of his legs. “If these two weeks are about punishing me, then I’ll shut up and we can get back to it. But if you really want me to choose and to have a future that won’t fall apart inside of a year, then you have to see me. Not just the good parts. Not just the parts that hurt you. All of me.”
He’s frowning at me as if maybe he might be doing exactly that. Gaeton is a smart man. He might play the fool because, more often than not, his size and boisterous attitude make people underestimate him, but there’s a big brain and an even bigger heart under all that bluster. It doesn’t make him less dangerous, though. If anything, it makes him more so, because once he decides to give his loyalty, there is no horrendous act he won’t commit to protect the people he cares about. Once upon a time, he felt that way for me. Now, it’s not so simple.
He sets his arms on the arms of the chair, his thumbs brushing the outer edges of my calves. “What do I see, Isabelle?” He says my name like a promise.
I’ve come this far. I can’t shy away now. I let the blanket drop away and carefully move to straddle him on the chair. He makes no move to hamper or help me, just lets me take up this position while he watches me closely. I settle my hips against his and have to bite back a whimper at the feeling of his cock hardening against me. I frame his face with my hands, enjoying the way his whiskers prickle against my skin, enjoying the faint flush beneath his freckles even more. “I am a princess. I’m spoiled and proud and loyal. I value freedom above all else, sometimes to my detriment. I am not perfect, and I don’t want to be with someone who needs me to be perfect to love me.” I rock my hips a little. “I’m also a little slut who loves to be fucked dirty, with a some degradation thrown in for spice.” And I love you. Both of you. The last I manage to keep in. There’s only so much vulnerability I can stand in a single twenty-four hour period and I’ve long since maxed mine out for this one.