Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 77415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
But I couldn’t lie to myself completely. I likely would’ve been a lot more comfortable staying here had I not just had a blast from my past knock me upside my head with a goddamn two-by-four.
Though, the woman always did have the power to bring me to my knees.
“I’m going to head out, then,” I said to Big Papa. “What time is the ride out on Saturday?”
Big Papa pulled out his phone, checked something on the calendar, and then showed me. “Says eight o’clock in the morning. You should probably get there about eight thirty.”
I laughed, “That sounds about right.”
I’d be there at eight, though, if not before.
I hated being late. If you were late, then you were pretty much signing the death warrant on the rest of your day. You’d never be on time for anything else again, because lateness had a cumulative effect.
“Have a good night, JJ.”
The tension from my shoulders lessened the further away from the back deck I got, but I did stop right at the edge of the property line to take one more longing glance back and wished I hadn’t.
Because she was there, laughing, not realizing that she was ripping my heart out while she did it.
I should’ve known, really.
***
I was standing at the railing, the railing that had a sign on it that said ‘no standing’, and waited for the kick off to the third quarter.
The Wildcats were winning by three points, but the Wolves had the ball, and a damn fine quarterback who didn’t believe in losing.
I had no doubt in my mind that this was about to get very interesting.
And I was proved right five minutes later when something caught my eye.
Turning, I froze at the sight behind me.
Chapter 3
Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.
-Ellen’s secret thoughts
Ellen
“Why are we at a football game again?” I asked impassively. “And a private school’s game at that.”
Sean said a few words to me, but I couldn’t hear him over the excitement of the crowd.
I turned to survey the field, eyes widening slightly when I saw a kid who had to be twenty-one, at least, standing on the sidelines, talking to a coach, while squirting water in his mouth as he nodded.
It took impressive skill, that was for sure.
The boy—his features reminded me of someone else. Someone that looked so similar to the boy that it took my breath away.
Longing for something I lost from long ago rolled through me, and I shut it down so viciously that my head spun.
No, I couldn’t be thinking of him. Not when I was seeing Sean.
Sean walked to the edge of the fence, and my eyes went to the sign that was next to a tall man with wavy jet-black hair. The sign read ‘No standing’ and I nearly laughed. The man had a ball cap in his hands as he was waving it around in excitement over something that was going on on the field.
Since he was turned to watch the play down field, I could only make out his back and a very partial view of his face, but it was enough to make my body hum.
His other hand was fisted so tight that it was almost as if the man was tensing and dodging right along with the plays. His shoulders moved. His feet shuffled. And I was reminded of a man from my former life.
A boy who I’d loved with all my heart who couldn’t sit still for long.
I shut those thoughts down, too.
Why was I thinking about him all of a sudden? I hadn’t thought about him in months. Though, every year around his birthday, I’d think about him. Think about where he was now, and how he was doing.
Shit!
“You okay?”
I looked over at Tally, my brother’s wife, and nodded.
“Yeah,” I cleared my throat. “Just a lot on my mind.”
She watched me closely for a few seconds before turning back to the game, her eyes on the field.
“Are you as lost as me?” I asked her.
She tossed me a laughing grin. “Yeah, but it looks fun. The air is filled with excitement. And the sound of the band brings back memories of those Friday pep rallies.”
I nodded my head in understanding. The band had already started playing a song that even my band had played when I was in school.
I’d gone to football games, of course, but never to watch the actual game. I was less of a social butterfly, and more of a follower, only there because that was the place to be in the South on a Friday night.
Then I’d met Jessie, and my entire social calendar had taken a turn for the better…until he left.
I squeezed my hands into tight fists, not stopping even when the bite of my fingernails dug into my bare palms.