Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Grayson blushes, apparently realizing what he’s admitted to me.
I sit up and look down at his face in the moonlight. “Grayson, am I your first? Were you a virgin when we walked into this room?”
He looks flustered. “No, of course not! I was with my ex-girlfriend for five years, remember? We were each other’s firsts. She wasn’t all that adventurous, though. She’d been through some bad stuff as a kid and had a lot of hang-ups about sex and her body. Obviously, I tried to be supportive and as gentle as possible with her, always, but no matter what approach I took, we really never had a great sex life. After we broke up, I made it my mission to study up, so I’d be able to hit the ball out of the park with a new partner, if, God willing, I ever got the opportunity.”
“And hit the ball out of the park, you did, my dear. If only Katie knew what she missed out on, she’d be kicking herself right now.”
“Stupid Katie.”
I swirl my fingertip through the little patch of hair between his pecs. “So . . . am I understanding this right: I’m only the second woman you’ve ever slept with?”
Grayson blushes, telegraphing the answer to my question is yes. “That’s a turn-off, right? I shouldn’t admit that.”
“Is it the truth?”
He nods. “Not for a lack of trying, though. I keep getting fake numbers.”
My stomach clenches. I could tell this boy was the type to fall hard and fast, but this new revelation makes me realize this hookup will likely be even more significant for Grayson than I’d imagined.
“Shit. I’ve blown it, haven’t I?” he says, reacting to whatever he’s seeing on my face. “I should have lied. Fuck. What number should I say in the future, if a woman asks me how many women I’ve been with? Five? Ten? It should be a big enough number that I don’t sound like a total loser, the way I just did with you, but not so big that I sound like a Max-level douchebag.”
“You’re not a loser, Grayson,” I say, touching his cheek. “Never lie, okay? You are who you are and don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. If anything, your sexual history only makes me even more impressed with your amazing skills. I was a virgin when I married my husband, while he was very experienced—and he was never even close to as talented a lover as you. Not back when I lost my virginity to him, and not after twelve years of marriage, during which he was having multiple affairs.”
“Seriously?”
I nod. “Obviously, a man having lots of sexual partners doesn’t necessarily mean he’s skilled. I think it’s more about the man’s philosophy. Does he like giving pleasure, or does he only care about receiving it? With my ex, sex was only ever about his pleasure, and nothing else. He’d only ever give me oral sex on very special occasions. And when he did, not surprisingly, he totally sucked at it.”
“What the fuck?”
I shrug. “Since I’d never been with anyone but him, I thought that was totally normal behavior for a very long time. I thought there was something wrong with me, because sex wasn’t all that thrilling to me. But then, I started reading romance novels and erotica, and talking to my friends, and I realized my ex was just a horrible, selfish lover, and I was an extremely sexual person who needed some actual foreplay before he shoved it in!”
Grayson grimaces. “That sounds horrible. I’m so glad you got out of that marriage.”
“Sounds like it was a good thing you got out of your relationship, too.”
“Yeah, it was.” He pauses. “Being with you has shown me, so clearly, what I’m looking for in my next relationship.” His eyes widen. “Which I know won’t be with you. Don’t worry. All I’m saying is being with you has shown me how fun it is to be with a woman who’s comfortable in her own sexuality. That’s what I want for myself. It’s so fun, making you feel so damned good. I feel like a superhero.”
“I hope you find a girlfriend like that, Grayson. You deserve to feel like a superhero—in and out of bed.”
He smiles ruefully. “Thanks.”
Aw, Grayson. Obviously, he’s poking around a bit, trying to figure out if I’ve magically changed my mind about not wanting a boyfriend.
I touch his arm. “Honey, this wouldn’t work out. We’re at totally different stages of our lives. You’re looking for that special person to settle down with. Maybe you even want to have a kid one day. But I’ve already done all that. I like being free and not having to consider anyone’s schedule or feelings but mine and my son’s and my dog’s.”
Grayson considers that for a long beat, and finally nods and says, “Can I see a photo of this dog you’re always talking about? She sounds amazing.”