Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
I’m not angry at him.
But there is anger sprouting tentacles inside of me, clawing onto everything, anything, tying me down viciously.
Fine, we had some steaminess yesterday. But that doesn’t mean I will be able to do whatever you want in person. It doesn’t mean I’m going to be able to give you what you want, what other women give you.
This isn’t about other women, he replies instantly. What’s with the sudden sassiness? I want to TALK, Mia. We don’t even have to touch if you don’t want to.
But why? I imagine I’m yelling the words. Why do you have any interest in talking to me?
Do I have to explain every little thing? Just get here.
And park around the back, so your other women don’t see me?
I’m picking a fight so I can end this before it has a chance to begin. It’s a crazy thing, being conscious of the fact I’m sabotaging this… and still doing it, not having the ability to stop myself even if I want to.
The alternative is to step outside, walk across the street with the icy air kissing at me, look up into Killian’s blazing features and see disappointment flicker there, just for a moment.
And then he might be polite, mask it.
But he saw my photo and he still wants me…
There are no other women, he replies. What are you so afraid of?
Taking a deep breath, I reply honestly. Everything.
Why?
Because my Dad was mentally ill, he and my Mom homeschooled me. He told me for years that the outside was dangerous and that it had to be in short bursts when we went out there. To get groceries, deal with the ‘demon world,’ as he called it.
I stop, panting, staring at the words I’ve written so far, knowing I should delete them.
This will scare Killian away.
Maybe that’s why I go on.
My core throbs, begging me not to do this, begging me to entice him, not scare him away with my craziness.
And the really messed up thing is… I know it doesn’t make sense. I know there aren’t demons out here, not in the way Dad meant. I know it’s just the outside world. But it’s hard to accept that when I’ve spent so long hiding. And ever since Dad took his own life, it’s just gotten worse.
I send the message, then bite down when I realize how far I went, probably too far. Sharing all that stuff about Dad and the way his life ended.
I’m so sorry, Mia. About all of that. But you don’t need to let it define you. I’m here for you.
Even after all that? I send. I thought I’d scare you away.
Not even a little.
Do you always humor every weirdo who texts you out of the blue?
I imagine him laughing, his voice husky, a smirk on his captivating lips. You’re not a weirdo.
My parents turned me into a hermit and now I live in a cruddy rundown apartment with my mom, who’s suffering like crazy, who might never be the same again.
You tell me that like I’m supposed to think less of you, Mia.
I’m just saying… we don’t exist in the same world. We’re like different species.
We’ll talk about all this soon when you get here.
I swallow, my throat feeling tight, having to tell myself in my head that the sky isn’t falling.
The world isn’t going to implode.
I have to say that, as though any of that is a possibility. It’s just ridiculous how possible it all feels, even while I know it’s the exact opposite.
I’m here now, I text him, hearing how shaky my breath has become. I drove here early because I was so nervous. I’m right outside.
Wait.
It’s one word, but it’s got my mind swirling.
He’s going to come out here.
Suddenly, it all feels so real, so different from the digital world.
The fence door opens, and there he stands, my man, Killian, with his sleeves rolled up to show his muscular tattooed forearms, and his hair neatly styled.
His body heaves as he walks across the street.
I’m not sure why I do it.
The impulse to escape grips me.
The beat-up old car chokes to life as I start it.
Killian jogs toward me, his voice just about reaching me through the car window, above the sound of the chugging engine.
“Mia, wait! Mia!”
But I can’t wait.
I drive away, part of me screaming to go back, part of me screaming being with him is the only place I belong.
And part of me knowing I’ll never be able to shake away the demons.
CHAPTER 9
Killian
That car’s going to get her killed.
That’s the first thought that slams into me as I watch the junker cough its way down the street. Then my mind flits back to what happened when I emerged from the wooden gate, the way my woman’s face dropped, the fear in her wide, beautiful eyes.