Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46858 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46858 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
I stare at the message, knowing Elias wouldn’t make something like this up. My breath has slowed since I stormed out of the office, the foggy rage in my mind clearing a little.
But can I know he wouldn’t make it up, honestly? How can I ever be sure?
Something deep within tightens at that, as if telling me I can be sure because he’s the man for me, my one and only. That’s how I know.
We had a small apartment, Elias goes on. The walls were thin. I heard lots of things, Della. Lots of horrible things I shouldn’t have heard as a kid. Then, one day, I saved up some cash and bought myself a portable CD player and some headphones. I know I’m showing my age here.
No, I reply. I mean…yeah, maybe a little. But it’s not a bad thing. I don’t think age even comes into it for us. If anything, I love how mature you are, how experienced you are. Does it matter that I’m twenty?
I realize I’ve used the L-word too late, but surely he won’t know the full significance of it.
Not even a little. I don’t think age matters for us, either.
What happened when you got the CD player?
I’m squeezing my phone hard, mentally placing myself back in the office.
Instead of turning and stalking from the room, I wait, listening to his explanation. But in a way, it’s good I left.
Conversations like this are so much easier over text.
Whenever I was at home, I’d listen to old CDs and work on my math. I fell in love with it. The world was so confusing, with so many shades of gray, but math was simple and direct. It was difficult and distracting. When my brain got too tired, I did push ups. I became obsessed with doing them.
Sometimes, Della, I even do it today, he goes on. I’ve tried to kick the habit. But when I’m stressed, I’ll drop to the ground and fire some out. I’m forty-one, and I’ve never been able to shake that.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, I text, knowing this could be a lie, a story he’s telling me, but unable to believe it. He’d have to be a full-on psycho to make something like this up, and I can’t accept that. There are worse habits to have. But if you wanted to stop, I’d try and help.
Thanks. Really. But the point is…hearing all that, being close to it, it made me want to hold off on the physical stuff. I won’t lie. I’ve had plenty of chances over the years, maybe more than most men. I don’t say that to brag. I say it, so you know how special you are. You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt this way about.
What way?
I want to text back to ask if he means what I hope he does. To ask if he’d find it crazy if I suggested marriage… if I told him that I’d happily go to the courthouse and become his wife today if I listened to the signals in my body.
I want to tell him I can feel his seed inside of me already, even if the thought of taking his huge manhood makes me wonder if it would even be possible.
I want to tell him I think I’m falling in love.
CHAPTER 12
Elias
I’m sitting hunched over the desk, and the phone is clasped firmly in my hands. I look at the last line. The one where I tell Della she’s the only woman I’ve felt this way about.
The statement is vague. It could mean the attraction, the desire to physically claim her.
Or it could mean the future. The connection. The need.
Thanks for sharing all that with me, Eli, she sends.
I smirk. So I’m Eli again now, am I?
It’s still crazy to think you’re a virgin, but maybe I overreacted a little.
You don’t want to be lied to, I text back. I get it.
How’s your mom doing now? she messages.
We’ve moved on from the comment I made, the one about me feeling that way about her. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want me to rush her into something, which is fair. I’ll have to accept that.
My balls pulse at the thought.
Accept it?
I should be with her now, laying her on her back, stripping her body naked, and tasting her kissable lips again.
She passed when I was a teenager. It was an overdose. I went to live with my dad. By the way, if you ever meet him, he’ll be very impressed that I let you call me Eli. I’m named after my grandfather, and I promised my dad I wouldn’t shorten it.
I’m so sorry, Eli. And yeah…that does make me feel special.
A knock at my door interrupts us. I want to shout at whoever it is, tell them I’m too busy with my woman to deal with whatever this is.