Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
“What if I didn’t want to?”
“Is this a test?” she countered out of nowhere. “I feel like this is a test. Is there a wrong or right answer?”
“Answer it honestly,” I responded, not taking my stare off hers.
She sighed. “I probably would have respected your wishes and then I would have fucked her in front of you.”
I nodded. “I see.”
“Are we fighting? Because I thought we had a great time last night. You seemed to like it… a lot.”
“I did.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she asked, shaking her head.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
“What are we doing?” I protested, moving the tray of food from my lap.
She rolled her eyes. “We’re having fun, Devon, we’re enjoying each other’s company. We’re having the time of our lives. That’s what we’re doing. Life is too short not to. You only live once, why not make the most of it,” she stated frustrated and slightly annoyed that we were back to this.
“Now what?”
“What?”
“It’s a new year… what happens now?”
She lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m just going with it. I thought you were too.”
“I am.” I paused, considering what to say next. “I just don’t want to lose you.”
She smiled, her face relaxing.
“I’m going to go shower.”
She nodded, biting her cheek.
I got off the bed, putting my slacks back on.
“Devon?”
“Yeah?” I looked back over to her.
“There are clothes for you on the counter in the bathroom.”
“Okay.” I made my way across the room to the door.
“Devon?” she called out, stopping me. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
I smiled, but didn’t turn around. “Good.”
As I showered, I considered everything. It played in my mind resembling a reel of an old movie. The glimpses of the black and white images were clear as day, even though the stills were hazy. Nonetheless, they were timeless pieces that etched a way into our hearts and mind. Making it a memory that neither one of us could ever forget, even if we wanted to. They were permanent.
The last few months were a whirlwind, so much had happened in such a short time. Although, when we were together it felt as if time stood still, and the world moved around us.
Sometimes it felt like we were walking through a maze, trying to find our way out. But at the same time enjoying getting lost together. Taking the wrong turns on purpose, just to spend more time together. Then there were other times that felt like we were on a hamster wheel, running and running with no place to go.
We were running in one giant circle, with no end in site.
Going back to reality when you’ve lived in a fantasy was a recipe for disaster. Clear as day, with bright, bold letters that you couldn’t misinterpret or confuse. It's like boiling hot, scorching water on the stove, and moving the pot so fast that it burns your hand no matter what. That was Brooke and I.
This was her life. This is what she did. If I were going to be with her, this would be our life. I didn’t know how I felt about that. The threesomes with women were more than okay with me. However, knowing she would be with other men and women, without me being around…
Could I fucking handle that?
I already knew the answer.
It was fucking staring me in the face this whole time. Drenching me with frigid, cold water, after being burned by the boiling fervor of the stove.
And for the first time in my life, I ignored it.
Whether it was right or wrong…
It didn’t matter.
I rode the high that was Brooke. I was too far gone to see the signs or even care.
Being crazy in love will do that to you.
The heart wants what it wants.
Everything else could go to hell. I didn’t realize until later that we existed in a limbo, in a fairy tale. Make believe... And like all good stories… ours would hit rock bottom. With the possibly, of no happily ever after.
What goes up must come down.
It’s the law of gravity.
It was Brooke and Devon
<>B<>
I knew he had millions of questions, and I could probably answer all of them. But I didn’t want to. It wouldn’t ease his mind or take away his concerns… it would only make them worse.
I knew one thing to be true and one thing alone.
I didn’t want to lose him.
I never considered myself a selfish person. Not really.
It took one afternoon to change everything. To alter my perception of what I believed so deeply in my heart. It was a balancing act, and up until then it remained level. The heart and the mind were equal partners. The scales would soon tip and the mind would trump the heart.
At the end of the day, it was the right thing to do…
Even though, it felt so fucking wrong.
<>D<>
“How was your New Years?” Ysabelle asked over the phone, a few months later.