Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
“Are you clean? Have you been tested?” she panted, looking into my eyes.
“Yes, but I’ve never gone without a rubber.”
“Oh.”
“I will. I will with you. Have you been tested?”
She nodded. “Of course, I get tested every three months; I just got one a few weeks ago. All the clients of VIP are tested before hand and I’m on the Depo-shot.”
“Bambi, I don’t want to talk about you fucking other men.”
“I’m sorry, I just want you to know. I’m safe. I want to be your first. Please… let me be.”
I smiled before claiming her lips and positioned myself at her entrance.
“Go slow, you’re fucking huge,” she stated, making me chuckle.
I grabbed her leg and angled it upward, bending her knee so that her foot rested on my ass. I hesitantly pushed in.
“Oh fuck…” she breathed out, keeping her eyes open even though they wanted to close.
“Jesus… you’re tight.”
She peeked up at me through her lashes. “Kegals.”
I laughed again. This was not what I imagined our first time would be like. I couldn’t help, but love the fact that we were laughing and it was amusing. As if we had been doing it for years. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable; how it usually was with women I had been with. Most of the time we were drunk, and I was taking them home from my bar.
“God, you feel fucking amazing. I haven’t felt another woman since my ex-wife.”
Her eyes widened and then she attacked me. She grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me with so much power and passion; I returned it tenfold. I thrust in, little by little, until I was fully inside her, stopping to enjoy and enrapture the wetness; the sensations of Brooke and only Brooke.
My mind was plaguing with thoughts that I tried to ignore, but couldn’t.
The feel of her.
The taste of her.
The smell of her.
Her.
Brooke…
Bambi…
Mine… I wanted her to be mine.
It was a shock to my core; my whole world came tumbling down, as I was engulfed with being inside her.
We were one.
I was hers, and she knew it. She had to.
Like a cold fucking shower, drenching me and making me shutter.
I was falling in love.
For the first time in my life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
<>B<>
I knew I had no business wanting to be his first; in anything. But I couldn’t fucking help myself. God help me, I didn’t care. I wanted him.
I wanted to claim him in any way that I could. I wanted to be so immersed in his body that I was the veins that pumped his blood, and the lungs that allowed him to breathe. I wanted to be the reason for his existence.
Me alone.
It wasn’t fair because I couldn’t return the sentiment, but Jesus Christ I wanted to. And I had no idea what that even meant. No idea how to make it happen. It was confusing, overwhelming, and all consuming. He was inside me, on top of me, and it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.
I wanted more.
I needed more.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I went from feeling nothing, to feeling everything. It was liberating, powerful, and blinding. I was blind for him, so blind that I needed his guidance. He showed me the way. He showed me how to live again.
How can that be?
I was supposed to be living the day I became a VIP.
“Where are you?” he asked, kissing all over my face. “I know you’re not here; I can see you, but I can’t feel you. Don’t go. Stay with me, in this moment, in this time. Right here. Right now. Please…”
It was the first time I heard real desperation in his voice. I moved his face to look at him and we locked eyes. I saw my whole world in his stare.
I was falling in love with him.
I wanted to tell him, it was on the tip of my tongue, but I was scared, terrified, petrified, frightened; every synonym of the word.
Love.
I thought I hated love.
I thought I didn’t understand it.
I thought it wasn’t real.
I thought I wasn’t made like that.
I was wrong.
So fucking wrong…
Devon was love… his kindness, his smile, his laugh, his words, his caresses, his control… all of it.
Staring me right in the face since the moment I met him. He was meant to come into my life. I was meant to meet him.
He made my heart beat again.
He found all the missing pieces that were scattered in places I didn’t even know I had hid them.
He put it back together.
He put me back together.
And there I was… handing it right back to him. Praying that I wouldn’t hurt him. Because, I knew he would never hurt me.
That’s when I felt tears roll down the sides of my face, and I bit my cheek. Just like he said I always did.
He knew me before I even knew myself. I was learning who I was through his eyes and embraces.