Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
I smiled and my nerves subsided a little. But I couldn’t stop staring at the roses he placed on the table, next to the pregnancy sticks I had brought for him to see.
“I love you. I never thought I would… I could… love someone as much as I love you.”
I grinned, trying to keep my gaze on him. “The feeling is very much mutual, Jaxon.”
He paused for a minute, to look over the sticks that shared our hopeful future. Together. As a family.
He looked at them like I looked at the roses and I should have known…
“But baby, we can’t do this,” he informed me, with little to no reserve or compassion for what he was declaring.
My mouth immediately went dry. “What do you mean? What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we need to take care of the situation. Do you understand?”
My eyes widened and I forcefully removed my hands away from his loving grasp. “An abortion? You want me to get rid of it?”
He licked his lips and lowered his eyes. He didn’t want to look at me, like it caused him pain to say what he was saying. I didn’t understand why he was even expressing it, if he didn’t mean it.
Nothing made sense.
Not his actions.
Not his stares.
And especially…
Not his words.
I didn’t recognize the man sitting before me. It was as if he were a stranger, not the person who I had given my heart and soul to.
He looked back up at me with sad, almost regretful eyes. “Yes, that’s what I’m asking. That’s what needs to be done.”
“Why? You said! You promised! You told me… you told me you loved me! That you wanted this! That you wanted us!” I screamed not being able to control my emotions and anger.
“I do, baby, I do. Please calm down,” he coaxed, trying to grab me again. I roughly pushed him away and got off the couch.
“You lied to me! You have done nothing but lie to me and play me for a fool, haven’t you?”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“Really? Then why are you asking me to kill our baby? Why are you telling me to do this?” I pleaded, needing to understand.
“Because it’s not the right time,” he simply stated.
“Not the right time? When would the right time be? It’s been over two years and you’re still with your wife. I’m still your mistress. Is that all I am, your whore? Your VIP? Is that the way you see me?”
“Never.”
“Bullshit.”
He was over to me in three strides. “I fucking love you! Do not ever doubt me or that,” he emphasized, grabbing the sides of my face.
“Then please don’t ask me to do this. I can’t. I don’t want to. I want to be with you. This baby came from our love, Jaxon. Don’t make me get rid of it.”
He kissed all over my face. “Just please… try to understand. I don’t have a choice. This isn’t the right time.”
“Then when? When will be the right time? Huh?”
“That’s not fair Brooke and you know it. I have too much to lose.”
“And what about me? Am I not worth it? Aren’t you afraid to lose me?”
“I’m sorry… please… just do this, for me, for us. I promise it won’t be like this forever.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
He nodded. “I do. I will be with you every step of the way. I promise. We will do this together, I will make all the arrangements and handle everything, I promise.”
Tears fell loosely down my face. “But I love you…”
“I love you, too,” he expressed, wiping away my tears. “We will be okay and we have plenty of time for children. I promise you; one day we will have it all. Trust me; believe in me, as much as I believe in us. Can you do that? Give me a little more time?”
I looked down at the ground. “Yes,” I whispered.
There was nothing left for me to say. All I could do was believe him and trust that everything would turn out as he promised. I didn’t have another choice.
He made love to me all afternoon and well into the evening. He kissed my belly, told me how much he loved me.
The future.
He promised.
Ours.
He said.
Mine.
He repeated.
Yours.
He confessed.
With each caress, I felt his love again. The same connection I had felt since day one. When we were together, nothing else mattered. The world kept going and we stayed in place; side-by-side with just our whispers and sighs.
The next morning he told me he had scheduled everything and all I had to do was show up. He repeated that he would be with me every step of the way.
I didn’t come to realize that he was a liar, until it was too late.
And I never saw him again.
Jaxon wasn’t like my father. He never loved me.