Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
I wished I could be so lucky.
I gasped, sitting straight up.
“Fuck… Are you okay?” Lola questioned with a frightened look next to me.
“Yeah… fuck, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You were shaking and mumbling. You look terrified. Are you sure you’re all right?”
I nodded. “Yes, I just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I’m positive.”
I went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and turning on the shower.
I looked in the mirror and the reflection was the same as it was when I was a child.
Broken.
CHAPTER EIGHT
<>B<>
“I love sunsets,” I expressed, looking at the beauty before me, nestled in the crook of Landon’s arm. We had spent the day at the beach, just the two us.
He looked out over the horizon and let me continue.
“It’s like the world stops spinning for just a few seconds and then night takes over. Once the sunrise appears, you have a whole new start to try again. A whole new day to make changes and decisions that could not only affect you, but everyone around you.”
I could feel his eyes on me. “Jesus… baby…”
I smiled, peeking up at him through my lashes. “What?”
“That’s some deep shit. I wish I could take away—”
“Don’t.”
He sighed. “Why? Brooke… why can’t we talk about it?”
I leaned back to pull away from him and he grabbed my arm, keeping me in place.
“There’s nothing to talk about, and even if there was”—I shrugged my shoulders—“what’s the point? It’s not going to miraculously change anything.”
“But maybe it will if you talk to them about it? They are your parents… don’t you think they have a right to know?”
“A right to know?” I repeated aggravated. “You’re joking, right?”
He rolled his eyes and leaned forward; sitting up to gain authority over me I was sure. “No, I’m not. I’m dead serious. You keeping it bottled up inside is doing you harm. You’ve changed so much over the last two years. I barely recognize you anymore. You’re about to graduate from high school and what? Huh? You’re just going to keep going on the path you are right now? Being this girl that no one can get close to? Especially me… I love you, Brooke. I love you so much, and the fucked up part is that I know you love me, too! I can see it every time we’re alone. Every time we make love, every time you let your guard down for just one goddamn minute, I see the Brooke you used to be. I want that girl back.”
I shook my head, not breaking our locked eyes. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to live in that house? To see that my parents look so fucking in love, it’s nauseating! To know that when my father tells us he has something to do, he’s probably going to his mistress’ house, to see his other children… my siblings that I’ve never even heard of. You have no fucking idea and you have no right to judge me,” I revealed, immediately regretting my words.
“Brooke…”
“No! I don’t want to hear it. You have no idea and it’s so much easier to throw stones. It doesn’t matter what I say or do because my mom is fine with it, Landon. How fucked up is that? I wanted more than anything in this world to be like them, and now when I look at them… when I look at love, in general, it’s all fucked up and jaded and I want no part of it. I care about you, Landon, I do. But I don’t love you. I’m sorry…”
“You’re lying, to me and to yourself. You lie to everyone.”
“What more do I have to do? Huh? Do I need to go fuck someone else to prove to you that I don’t love you?”
His eyes widened.
“You have been an amazing friend to me and I love the time we spend together. I love what we have and I love you as a person, but I’m not in love with you. Why can’t you understand that?”
“I can’t do this anymore,” he replied, catching me off guard.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I mean that more than anything. I can’t play this game with you anymore. I can’t be with you and not really with you. It’s not fair to me. This ends, right now.”
I lowered my eyebrows. “What?” I whispered, trying to comprehend what he was saying to me.
“If you can’t tell me you love me, Brooke, if you can’t give me any hope that this is going somewhere, that we’re going somewhere, then this is done. I can’t keep doing this with you. I’m done.”
I laughed. “So you’re giving me an ultimatum?”
He shook his head. “Call it whatever you want. I don’t care.”
“Just go,” I breathed out.