Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
“Brooke has always had that entrancing allure about her. I mean Landon… he was messed up for a while. They ended things badly too.”
“I’m not Landon, Christine.”
“I know that. You’re much stronger than he is, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about you. Devon, you’re not sleeping, I can tell. That’s not good for you.”
“It’s been a rough few weeks, can you at least give me that.”
“Of course I can, but that’s not an excuse. You need help. Why can’t you just accept that? There’s nothing wrong with admitting defeat.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s nothing to admit, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Trust me. It’s over. I know that now. It doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt, because it does. I hope she’s happy and taking care of herself, that’s all I can wish for.”
“Just promise me that you will think about getting help, okay?”
I nodded and she smiled.
“Okay, baby, we got to go,” she stated, looking over at Ethan.
I walked them out to her car, and buckled Ethan into his car seat. “I love you, buddy, I’ll see you in a few days.” I kissed his head, closed the door, and turned to face Christine.
“I’m always here if you need anything. You know that, right?” she honestly questioned.
“Of course I do.”
“Okay.” She pulled me into a hug and I kissed her cheek.
“Be good and stay out of trouble,” I said, pulling away.
“Where’s the fun in that?” she laughed.
I watched them leave, and retreated back into my house. Christine wasn’t exaggerating; I did look like shit. I hadn’t been sleeping, too much plagued my mind. The more time went by, the guiltier I felt for what I had done to Brooke. It was eating me alive. I hated knowing I caused her distress and harm, but there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. It was already done. I put the nail in the coffin.
We were over, and I knew that.
All that was left for me was to move forward.
That’s all I could do.
<>B<>
A month and a half had gone by since I had last seen him. I thought about him everyday… mostly at night. There’s something about the night that made me feel more vulnerable and exposed. I didn’t know if it was the fact that I was alone. Ysabelle stayed at The Cathouse most nights, but sometimes she would stay with me. We had been working diligently together, and so far there hadn’t been any problems.
Madam was in a rehabilitation center. I never brought up the fact that she fucked me over, though I could see it in her eyes.
She knew, I knew.
It was much easier to sweep it under the rug. I worked the business side of VIP, and I hadn’t been with another client since the night with Devon. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and it made me nauseous just thinking about it. The thought of another man’s hands on me… it didn’t matter that the last time his hands were on me… I deserved it.
I earned every word, every touch, and every action in that bathroom.
It was my consequence.
And now when I looked in the mirror, I allowed myself to see the broken girl I tried so desperately to hide from for decades.
They say time heals all wounds.
Only the future will tell.
For now…
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
<>D<>
“He had front row seats to the performance of a lifetime.”
She cried…
I looked deep into her eyes, all the love and adoration was still very much alive. Breathing around her. It surrounded her, it engulfed both of us, and I could see it clear as day. Except mine was gone… I wanted to be her dark cloud.
I wanted to ruin her.
I wanted to hurt her.
I wanted to destroy her.
Every time I grabbed her, and touched her, my body burned with hatred. There was no love. She didn’t deserve it. She would get everything that was coming to her, and it gave me satisfaction that she was crying. That she was crumbling before me.
That I was hurting her.
I needed her on the ground, shattered into millions of pieces, so that she could never be able to put herself back together again.
It was her punishment. For her sins.
The more tears that fell from her beautiful face, the stronger it made me feel. The more empowered and superior my heart grew. She would be nothing after this.
Nothing.
I wouldn’t allow it.
“Taking every last bit of love, he had for her with them.” I bit her lip till I tasted blood. It nourished my soul. It made me feel alive.
Keep going… I told myself.
Kill her like she killed you.
Make her feel your pain.
No one hurts you, and gets away with it.
Use her.
Break her.
“Who she belongs to. Except it’s a lie. She’s a VIP. She’s a whore.”
Her skin felt heavenly, but I knew it was a lie. It was always a lie. She was one big lie. Everywhere I caressed her it left behind a bruise. Each bruise symbolized another lie.