Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Her eyes go big.
“I meant ball. Sorry, on the ball.”
“One more chance, Noah. After this I will no longer take your call or even answer your emails. Now go.”
I slap my hands together in celebration.
“Don’t make me regret it!”
She eyes me up and down as I get up.
“See, I didn’t even try to check out the color of the bra you’re wearing today. How is that for turning a new leaf?” I smile at her like a kid in kindergarten who just found out how to color inside the line. “See”—I point to myself—“I can do this.” I salute her walking out the door, closing it behind me.
The next thing I do is go online. It’s amazing how much shit comes out when you type what to eat with a side of dick. Some of those pictures have permanently scarred me.
By the time five-thirty rolls up, I close everything down for the night. Walking out, I ask Alfred, “What name is the fruit under?”
He peers up from his newspaper; I shake my head, thinking do they still print newspapers? “Name for what fruit?” His bushy eyebrows fold together.
“The fruit I asked you to order me for tonight?”
He shakes his head, taking off his glasses. “I must have forgotten to order them.” He goes to pick up the phone, then looks up at me. “What did you want again?”
My jaw seals shut. “Nothing, absolutely nothing. I’m going to go now.” I nod down to him. “Have a great night.”
I walk away while he tells me the same. Dialing Austin, he answers after one ring.
“What do you want? Did you get your dick stuck in seaweed?” He laughs by himself.
“Very funny.” I unlock the car, getting in. “Is Lauren still at the office?” I ask, starting the car while he is transferred to Bluetooth.
“Why the fuck would you ask me that?” he hisses out. “Is she the one you are feeding your dick to tonight?” The vein in his head must be ready to pop. “I swear to fucking Christ, you touch her and I’ll cut off your fucking dick. I will make sure they won’t even be able to attach it. I swear to fuck,” he continues.
“Are you foaming at the mouth yet?” I ask him, smiling to myself. “You think I’d sleep with someone I know has you tied up in knots? I mean, honestly, how many times have you rubbed one off with Lauren’s face?” I pull into a supermarket, hoping they have fucking platters and shit.
“I just don’t want you to fuck my assistant and then she quits on me.” He blows out a relieved breath. “And to answer your other question, what about Becca Sullivan, seventh grade? You knew I was going to ask her out, and I found you guys making out in the closet.”
“That was a mistake.” I stop the car. “I didn’t actually think she’d suck my dick if I guessed her favorite number. Which, by the way, who chooses one as their favorite number?”
“Fuck you,” he says. “What did you call for?”
“Where can I get fruit already cut up? With chocolate and whipped cream?”
“Edible Arrangements have those basket thingies that you can buy and they look like flowers and stuff.”
I hit the steering wheel. “You’re a genius. I gotta go find the closest one to me,” I say, hanging up. I press the button for Siri to come on. Once she gives me the closest address, I make it there right before they are about to close.
Walking in, I head to the counter.
“Hello, how may I help you?” the woman who is named Tracy asks me.
“I’m looking for cut up fruit.” I start out, checking out the different arrangements. “Like that one.” I point to the biggest bouquet they have, with pineapple, cantaloupe, melon dew and most of all chocolate covered strawberries. “I’m going to take three like that, and do you have just chocolate covered strawberries in one basket?”
“You want three baskets?” she asks me, writing down the order. “And we have boxes of the strawberries in the fridge over there.” She points to the fridge behind me. “Your total will be five hundred and seventy three.”
“For fruit?” I ask. “It’s fruit.”
“Yes, but it’s cut up into a beautiful flower and shapes.” She smiles at me, shaking her head.
“What if I just want it cut up, is that cheaper?” I ask, smiling at her.
“Sir, if price is an issue, perhaps you would like to downsize and get a more affordable basket.”
I grab my wallet out of my jacket pocket. “That’s fine,” I say, pulling out my card. “How long will it take?”
“It should be ready in fifteen minutes,” she says, going back into what I’m sure is the fruit dungeon.
I pull my phone out, seeing a text from Kaleigh.
We still on for tonight?