Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“Why would you think she’d do something like that?”
“Because I deserved it. I wasn’t the father I needed to be—I’m still not. Christie, please, understand that I’m not a perfect person. But damn it, I want to try to be better. And seeing you—being with you—has made me feel more optimistic about who I can be for my son and myself. For the people around me.”
I’d earned her attention and settled my hands over hers, which were folded over each other on the wooden armrest.
“Darlene and I came to an agreement. I have so much to work toward, but I’m doing it. I’m doing everything I can to be a better father and a better person to Darlene.”
“Okay,” she said, questions dancing on the tip of her tongue, but what she ended up saying made me feel less hopeful than I’d felt just a moment before. “Then do that for them.”
“Will you go to lunch with me?”
She shook her head sadly. “Why?”
My head dipped as I fought the urge to slam it against her chair, but I settled for touching my forehead to my knuckles and lifting it with another breath. “Please, Christie. If for no other reason, let it be my way of saying thank you. For being my advocate, and Darlene’s, despite us both being two strangers you never knew.”
Christie searched my eyes, my face, but I wasn’t sure what she was looking for. I wished I could just flood her with everything so she’d know and believe what I felt, what I wanted—so she’d know that I was starting to feel like she was someone I needed in my life. If this was my last chance to show her my intentions, I wanted to make sure she heard my heart.
“Okay,” she finally said, though her defeated tone didn’t make me feel good about it.
Christie returned to the bathroom with clothes and dressed quickly, but she didn’t put any makeup on. That was all well and good with me. It meant I didn’t have to wait as long, and she looked gorgeous either way.
We walked to a café down the street, but Christie didn’t say much the entire way. I wondered whether her job was something she really wanted or if she was just settling for some other reason. I realized I’d have to be gentle to find out. I needed to let her connect with me again.
When we entered the café, we were swallowed by cool, humid air and the aromas of different coffees, pastries, and sandwiches to fit a number of palates. I really enjoyed this place and found myself eating here more often than not, but once I moved into my house, it would probably be added to the stack of good eateries I rarely visited anymore.
“So,” I started when we were seated at a booth. They’d redecorated or something. The space felt a little larger, more open, and classy red tablecloths adorned the tables, while the bright lights made the place feel more like it were almost outside.
“So?”
“You still like Dallas?”
Christie shrugged. “I don’t know whether it’s for me or not.”
“It’s sometimes good to start fresh in a new place,” I tried.
“I wouldn’t call it a fresh start,” she countered.
The waitress asked what we wanted to drink, and we both asked for tea. When she left, we decided to browse the menus, giving me time to figure out how to make it through this conversation alive.
Chapter 31
Christie
How would I make it out of here with my heart intact? Every time Ryan said something, I wanted it to mean something to us. I wanted to believe something other than the truth: not only had he made up with Darlene, they’d rediscovered each other. They were on the same page. That was a good thing, so why did it have to hurt?
When the waitress returned with our drinks, I planned the rest of our conversation. My work, his work, then maybe some talk about James or Dallas or maybe even Darlene, but then I would leave. Out of his life.
“How’s work?” I started, less interested than I thought I’d be, but I wanted to know all the same.
Ryan’s soft frown suggested he wasn’t a fan of the change in topic, but he answered anyway. “It’s fine. Good, actually. I’m moving things around to prepare some of my veterans to take on bigger roles, so I don’t have to bear all the weight.”
“Good,” I said, then sipped my tea. I’d ordered a sandwich and tried to time its arrival with my transition to the next topic. “So you still opening up in Houston?”
“No. I’m holding off for now. I’ll focus on settling things in Waco so it’ll work on its own, then I’ll focus on our residentials here for a while.” He shrugged. “Maybe get my hands dirty again.”