Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85569 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85569 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
In actuality, I was very nervous, but I tried to convince myself that I was being silly. Women did this sort of thing all the time, and it wasn’t as if I didn’t know how everything worked. Obviously, I did. I just hadn’t actually done it before. At the end of the day, I couldn’t carry on being a virgin all my life. Having my cherry popped was long overdue.
And I was ready to get it done and over with.
Pearl and Kelly had taken extra time with me to make sure I looked great, and Natalie had even gone so far as to book a room for them to hang around in, so I wasn’t about to turn into a little coward and let them down.
My only real worry should be tripping and falling while wearing Pearl’s ridiculously high heels, but I told myself that if I was really careful and took it slow, I should be able to manage myself long enough to make my way up to his room. Once there I could instantly kick them off.
No matter what, I was determined that tonight, I wasn’t going to be Montana, the little tomboy who turned her back on boys. Tonight, I was going to be Montana, a woman who went out and took what she wanted. Cole’s attention, whether real or imagined, made me feel like I could do just that.
I felt his hand touch mine. There wasn’t anything overtly sexual about the action, but a frisson of longing and awareness ran up my spine. Taking a deep breath, I curved a smile on my face and turned towards him.
He stared at me and I stared right back.
In the background, the bartender prepared our drinks, and people laughed and went about their ordinary business. To the casual onlooker, I was just another person standing at the bar waiting for my drink, but inside me, an absolute explosion of foreign sensations was taking place. I didn’t know what to do or say, what to think even.
But he seemed calm and in no hurry to break the erotic silence.
Eventually, the drinks were delivered, and I raised the glass and drained it. The alcohol ran like a fiery spirit down my throat and into my belly.
“Want another?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I have to go to church early tomorrow.”
He watched me with intense curiosity. “You believe in God?”
“Don’t you?”
“No.”
Wow! It was my turn to stare at him curiously. I’d never met anyone who was not God-fearing. “Why not?”
A strange look crossed his face, and his voice was bitter. “If God existed this world wouldn’t be the hell it is.”
The hurt in his voice pierced my heart. I reached out and touched the warm skin of his hand.
“Look again, Cole. It’s a beautiful world. So very beautiful I say a prayer of gratitude every time I wake up because every day that I open my eyes is a precious gift.”
He looked at me almost with disbelief. “You’re serious. You actually believe this world is an earthly paradise.”
“Yes,” I said simply.
His eyelashes swept down, hiding his expression. “And you’ve never known suffering?”
I thought of the way Mama smiled as she lay dying. I thought of my wet pillow and the terrible, terrible loneliness and sadness I felt. I thought of my dad howling like a wounded animal into the night.
“Yes,” I admitted. “I’ve suffered pain, but the suffering passed, and the world became even more beautiful afterwards.”
“I’m not a nice guy, Montana,” he warned suddenly. His eyes were cold and his voice steely.
I ran my finger along his skin. My skin looked pale against his deep tan. I tilted my head up and looked into his eyes. In the depths secrets swam. There was also hurt, terrible betrayal, fear, and disappointment. And yet, despite it all, they were the eyes of a man clinging by his fingernails to hope, hope that there was something better out there.
“It’s okay. I’m not looking for a nice guy to put a ring on my finger.” I smiled softly at him. “Just the one-night stand will do.”
He blinked, then his mouth curved downwards as if he was mocking himself. “Of course.”
Just then I was startled by a touch on my shoulder. I swung my head around and my gaze met Natalie’s slightly amused blue eyes.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” I croaked.
“Everything alright?” she asked, an eyebrow raised.
“Yeah. Everything’s alright.”
She glanced at Cole, then smiled at him. “Thanks for the tomato soup. It was delicious.”
He nodded. “No worries.”
“Do you mind if I borrow Montana for a quick trip to the Ladies?” she asked.
“Nope.” His eyes slid to me. “I’ll be waiting here.”
I stood, and with careful steps followed Natalie. She didn’t say a word until we got the Ladies, then she whirled around like a snake, her eyes shining. “Damn, but that man’s cuter than a speckled pup. He was staring at you like he couldn’t wait another second to climb on top of you. What’s he like?”