Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 95187 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95187 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
I exhale slowly, tension winding tighter and tighter through me. “You’re being intentionally difficult. We may not have a navy, but at this point, Circe only has five ships. Why are you wasting time with plotting when there’s a clear solution?”
Hera shrugs, appearing completely unconcerned with how she continues to complicate my life unnecessarily. “You might be right, but if there’s a proper war, then everyone will expect the Thirteen to be at the front of things. That’s how it’s supposed to be. My mother, my brother-in-law, right there with targets on their foreheads. Eros will be right there, because as much as Psyche gets frustrated with our mother, she will want her protected. Charon, Eurydice, Orpheus. All three of them will be conscripted to the battle for Olympus. I might not give a shit if that little asshole Orpheus dies, but Eurydice does.”
The feeling in my chest gets worse, the pressure more intense. “The people you care about aren’t the only ones who matter. My people are more likely to be on the front lines than anyone in your family, regardless of what tradition would state for the Thirteen.”
“Precisely.” She says it so clearly, as if she’s led me to this point on her own. As if I haven’t been aware of it from the beginning.
“There is no ‘precisely’ about it. The longer we delay, the greater the chance of more people we care about dying. You’re not part of the solution. You’re part of the problem!”
“Poseidon.” Even over the whistle of the wind and the sound of the waves, her patronizing tone sets my teeth on edge. “Whatever gave you the impression that I’m trying to be part of Olympus’s solution?”
I could shove her over the edge right now. We’re still a good distance from shore, but not so far as to ensure she couldn’t make the swim. It wouldn’t be enough. I’d have to hold her under, have to muscle her beneath the surface until she stopped struggling. Until she drowned.
I’ve never killed anyone before. I’ve gone to great pains not to kill people. When Icarus tackled me into the water, I could have ensured I would be the only one to emerge alive. The stakes are so much higher now.
“Are you thinking about murdering me?” she asks me carefully, her body tense.
Is it possible to drown with air in your lungs? It certainly feels like I’m drowning right now. “It wouldn’t matter if I did. With you dead, your mother still wouldn’t vote for war. We wouldn’t have majority.” The impossible situation presses down on me, harder and harder. There’s nothing I can do to fix this. No matter how hard I fight or how thoroughly I compromise my morals, it seems like I only manage to make things worse.
If Hera died, that would fracture what’s left of the Demeter–Zeus alliance. It would ensure Hades never comes to another meeting with the Thirteen. It would make a shitty situation even more impossible.
I can’t shove Hera over the edge and leave her to drown. I can’t do anything at all. Just like always. No matter how much power I supposedly have, I’m just as helpless to the whims of the Thirteen as I’ve always been.
I can’t fucking breathe. Getting closer to land only makes the sensation worse. I grab the edge of the dock and pull the boat close. “We’re done after this. I want no more part of your schemes.”
“Oh, Poseidon.” Hera steps onto the dock, laughter trailing in her wake. “You don’t get to decide that. We’re done when I say we’re done.”
13
Icarus
I still haven’t managed to fall asleep when the door to my room flies open and Poseidon appears. It was only a couple hours ago that he fled my presence, but he looks almost like a different man now. His eyes are too wide and he immediately starts pacing from one side of my bed to the other. “I need you to tell me something.”
I sit up and rub my knuckles across my eyes. It’s hard to focus, which means I was closer to sleep than I realized. My thoughts feel muddied and sluggish. “What’s wrong?”
“Have you…used pain in your past sexual encounters?”
A bolt of pure heat sears me, blazing away the last cobwebs of not quite sleep. I force myself to take several deep breaths and to think. He’s not coming to me in a flurry of lust. He’s running from something. That shouldn’t matter—this is what I wanted, after all—but…it does matter. A lot. “Poseidon, before I answer your question, I need you to answer one from me. Are you okay?” I’m slightly horrified by the words coming out of my mouth—even more so by the fact that I mean them.
“No,” he says simply. “I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what the right choice is, and I can’t think. Or I’m thinking too much. I don’t know.” He shakes his head roughly. “I just need some space, a little bit of peace. I’m sure things will become clearer after that.”