Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 129323 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129323 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
An elderly woman walks by me, holding out a five-dollar bill, and I look at her like she has three heads.
“Get yourself a hot sandwich, dear.”
My mouth flops open. Does she think I’m homeless?
She places the money in front of me, waving goodbye.
“I’m…I’m not homeless,” I yell, glancing around to find that, thankfully, nobody else was around to witness one of my lowest points.
I glance down at my pants, recognizing that I’m in pajamas. My hair is likely a fright, and I’m sure I look like a hot mess.
Rock. Bottom.
What if someone from the press was lurking around out here to capture that? I’d have Aiden all over the news for all the wrong things. I’d embarrass myself and him. The last thing I want to do is go back in there, but I can’t be out in public like this.
Clearly, Aiden was too wrapped up in his compulsion to notice the way I left. Maybe I can sneak in without being seen.
Unlikely.
Oh, the horror I feel at this moment. I’ve been at rock bottom, or so I thought, but this doesn’t feel much better. This is embarrassment personified. I was mistaken for a homeless person. Albeit by a woman whose glasses were thicker than my hips, and her age is likely three times higher than mine, but still.
I’m losing control. The longer I keep this secret bottled up inside me, the worse it’s going to be when my house of cards comes crumbling down.
I have to come clean. I have to tell Aiden the truth. The question is, when?
Do I do it before the charity event? Or after?
So many decisions need to be made, but I know without a doubt, I can’t keep this up.
My days with Aiden are numbered, and that makes me want to cry more than anything. I’ve enjoyed being with him again, and I don’t doubt that when the truth of who I am is revealed, I’ll lose much more than this job.
I’ll lose Aiden.
Again.
27
AIDEN
Sunday came too quickly.
Now I’m back on the ice, playing game three against the Bulldogs.
The problem is I’m a complete mess.
For one, my head isn’t in it.
I’ve spent the entire afternoon glancing at where Cassidy typically sits, missing her presence. The worst part is it hasn’t gone unnoticed by anyone. The jumbotron has caught me doing it often, according to Coach, who’s about ready to kick my ass.
I’m slammed into from behind, and nothing is called. My anger flares as I spin on the dickhead from the opposing team, skating after him without any thought to where the puck is.
I lower my shoulder and throw him into the boards, earning myself an immediate penalty.
“What the fuck?” I say, throwing my gloved hands up. “Were you fucking blind a moment ago?”
The ref ignores me, calling out my penalty.
I refrain from telling him to go to hell, knowing that will surely send Coach over the edge.
“Do I even want to know what’s happening out there?” Dane asks as I take a seat next to him in the penalty box. Apparently, both of us are feeling violent today.
“What are you talking about?”
He lifts a brow. “You’ve been skating around like a lost puppy. Constantly checking the stands. She’s not here, dude. Get your head in the game.”
I pull a face. “I’m not acting like a lost puppy.”
“Dude…you’re acting exactly like a puppy dog,” he says, curling his upper lip.
I’m not gonna sit here and continue to argue with him, especially because I know he’s not entirely wrong.
Over the course of time since Cassidy entered my life, I’ve become more and more dependent on her. But it’s not just that. Of course, her help with my rituals has been a game changer, but even if she didn’t do any of that, I would want her here.
I need her here.
The calm she brings.
And calm is one thing I’ve been low on in this lifetime. Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop doesn’t allow for that.
“Where is she, anyway? Everything good with you two?” Dane asks, pulling me from my thoughts of Cassidy.
“Everything’s fine. She’s running errands for the gala.”
I’m not entirely lying. She is doing just that, but the whole part about her being my girlfriend makes me feel bad.
I allow very few people into my life, and Dane is one of them. Lying to him is one of the worst parts of my current position.
“Let me guess…you just sprang it on her this morning.”
I shake my head, pursing my lips. “Yesterday.”
He whistles. “You’re lucky she didn’t castrate you. Do you have any idea how much work goes into these things for a woman?”
“I didn’t peg you for a guy who cared about those sorts of things.”
“I’m not. But Molly likes to harp on me every time I spring these events on her at the last minute.”