Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
“Sorry, babe. I’ll try not to be funny.”
“Just be funny when I’m not working out.”
He chuckles. “I’ll do my best. Can you believe it, though? She’s relentless!”
“I can believe it! I told you to block her number, but you didn’t listen to me.”
“I feel bad for her.”
“She’s seventy! I don’t think she should be having sex at that age. Certainly not with two men.”
“She wants to relive her glory days.”
“Then maybe she should reach out to an old couple!”
“You’re right. But I’m still not blocking her.”
I laugh. “I know. Don’t respond, though.”
“I already have. I told her we found our third and weren’t looking anymore.”
“What did she say to that?”
“To keep her in mind when the other girl doesn’t work out.”
“Sounds about right,” I chuckle. “She was relentless.”
A month ago, John and I had realized we needed some help with finding our third. We had tried the local scene with no luck. In fact, going to bars had more often than not ended with drinks being thrown in our faces.
Then I did some research and found a website called FindYourUnicorn.com. It’s a site for swingers, but it’s also a site for couples who want to find a third. I’d never heard the term “unicorn” before, at least not in that context. It’s the word for a single, hot woman who is willing to be a third for a couple.
We thought the site would be our saving grace. It was exactly what we were looking for.
As with most online dating sites, though, we found it wasn’t actually what we were looking for.
Gertrude was our first response. She hadn’t seemed so bad until we found out she was seventy. I’m sure Gertrude is a great person, but I don’t think a seventy-year-old can handle what John and I have in mind for our third. We told her as much, but she hasn’t been able to let us go. She messaged John every day for two weeks. I’d thought we were in the clear when a full week went by without any messages, but I was wrong. Apparently, Gertrude doesn’t give up that easily.
Unfortunately, I wouldn’t say Gertrude was our worst match on the site. That honor definitely goes to every one of the guys who responded asking if we were interested in them. Our profile very clearly said we wanted a woman. We already have two guys; we don’t need another.
I don’t understand why they wanted to waste our time. It was frustrating to get excited about a notification only to find a man’s profile.
Then there were the women who were clearly not unicorn material. There are questions we ask to figure out if a woman will work. Most wanted to give a threesome a try but wanted a one-on-one relationship most of the time. Again, that’s not what we wanted. Our profile was clear about that, too. John and I don’t want to break up and only get together for the occasional threesome. We want a woman who wants both of us.
We deactivated our profile after a couple of weeks of failed attempts. Gertrude can still message us, though, because John gave her his personal number before we found out her age.
We asked everyone their age right off the bat after that.
The failed experiences in real life and with what had seemed like the perfect app made me feel hopeless. I was sure we’d never find our third. John had told me not to give up, but it’s hard to keep faith when everything you try fails.
Then we met Mari. I may be skeptical and nervous, but things seem to be looking up for us. John and I may have found what we were looking for in the strangest place.
I’d never thought to check on campus for a third because it’s dangerous. If the school finds out about the relationship, John and I could get into trouble. We have to trust that Mari won’t say anything to anyone. And surprisingly, I have no problem trusting her. She seems genuinely concerned about our standing with the university.
That’s something I think about all of the time. John and I get carried away in his office, and sometimes we forget to lock the door. If another administer were to walk in, we would be in big trouble. I’d lose my TA position, and John could lose his job.
The punishment would be even worse if we were discovered with Mari, though. The university has a clear position against teacher/student relationships. This includes TA’s. If I weren’t Mari’s TA, then it would be okay for us to be together. After this semester, I probably won’t be her TA anymore, so then we can get away with it. If anyone gets suspicious, we can say that the two of us are in a relationship and John has nothing to do with it.