Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87825 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87825 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
The door swings open, and the first thing I notice is the frown on his face. “Why are you knocking? You know you’re always welcome here.” He opens the door wider and ushers me inside before taking my coat. I swallow a sigh as his fingers trail over my shoulders.
“I’m just nervous, I guess.”
“No reason to be,” he says, his tone softening as he hangs up my jacket in the closet by the door. “Bryce is gone for the night,” he adds, referring to his roommate, “so we have the place to ourselves.”
As I follow him through the two bedroom house into the dining area, he glances at me from over his shoulder. “I made dinner. I figured we should eat first.”
“Yeah. Okay.” The table is already set, and the smell of food has my stomach rumbling with the reminder that I haven’t eaten much today. He pulls a chair out for me.
“About Mandy,” he says as I slide into the offered seat. “I think the less she knows about this, the better.”
That’s one thing we can agree on. Mandy wouldn’t understand, and I doubt she’d approve of my arrangement with her brother. Mandy and I don’t have secrets…except now we do.
Ashton disappears into the kitchen, leaving behind heavy silence. I’m not sure what I’m doing here, yet I can’t bring myself to move from this chair and bolt. He returns a few moments later, carrying a serving dish in each hand.
Leaning forward, I take a peek after he sets the food on the table, and I can’t help but shoot him a grin. “Mac and cheese, and broccoli? Some things never change,” I tease.
“Mandy stole the cooking gene,” he says with a sheepish smile. “I can teach you to suck cock like a pro, but this is all I’ve got in the cooking department.”
I burst out laughing. In some strange way, his bold statement sets me at ease. This is the same old Ashton I’ve known most of my life. Sweet, endearing…even if he is a manwhore. He’s never failed in the friend department.
We fill our plates with food, stealing glances at each other every few seconds. “Why haven’t you settled down with a girl yet?”
He pauses, fork halfway to his mouth, and the intensity of his stare steals a beat of my heart. “None of them were the one.”
“So ‘the one’ is something you believe in?”
“Yes.” He says it matter-of-factly, without hesitation, before shoveling in a bite of mac and cheese.
Several seconds pass, rife with things left unspoken. “Hmm, that’s…interesting.”
“Why’s that?”
“I figured you were gun-shy of commitment.”
“No, Sadie. Commitment isn’t my issue.”
“So what’s the issue then?” It’s a bold question, and if I didn’t want to know the answer so badly, I wouldn’t have dared ask.
“My dad cheated on my mom for years before he finally left. I won’t make the same mistake. I want to be certain I’m in it for the long haul before I throw around promises.”
“So no serious relationships until you’re sure it’s going somewhere?”
“Exactly.”
“And you haven’t found that yet.” It’s more a statement than a question.
He shakes his head then points at my plate with his fork. “Eat up.”
Eat up…so we can get on with the rest of the evening. Nerves barrel through me with a vengeance, and each bite is a tasteless swallow as I force it down my throat. I help him clean up the mess from dinner before he takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom. Stepping into the place where he sleeps—where he screws an abhorrent amount of women—has a stripping effect on me. We aren’t friends in this space anymore.
We’re not talking and laughing over mac and cheese at the dinner table. In this room, everything changes. We cross over into stupid territory, become insane people playing with each other’s lives…each other’s hearts. More importantly, we’re risking a friendship we’ve built since grade school.
“What are we doing, Ash?” I hug myself, suddenly feeling way too self-conscious in front of him. Another new development. Since when do I feel awkward around him? He’s the other half of the two people I trust most in the world.
Since you got on your knees and sucked his cock.
“We’ll do whatever you want, Sawyer.” Reaching out, he twirls a lock of my hair around his finger. “Or we don’t have to do anything at all. It’s up to you.”
“I thought you said you were calling the shots?”
“Oh, believe me, I will. But not until you’re ready.”
“That’s kind of my problem. I should be far past ready.”
“You either are, or you aren’t. There’s no shame in that.” He lowers his hand, and my hair slips through his fingers. But he doesn’t move away. The heat of his body blasts me from where he stands.
Much too close.
Not close enough.
I distract myself by taking in his bedroom. Of course, I’ve seen it before, but never under these circumstances. His bed is huge and takes up most of the space. The slatted headboard is a nice accent against the wall. A black and gray comforter covers the mattress, and I can’t help but wonder how soft it is. The color suits him.