Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 277(@200wpm)___ 221(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 277(@200wpm)___ 221(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
And did he really think he could just throw her in the hole and pull her out at night when he wanted to play with her? Absolutely not! “Who’s going to service Table #2?”
Chuckling from his bathroom, clearly urinating from the sound of it, he pitched his voice so she might hear from the distance. “New girl came yesterday. You’ve been officially replaced.”
It shouldn’t have hurt to hear. It shouldn’t have hurt at all. But it did.
It hurt way down deep.
Cutting the anger and twisting it into sorrow, stealing her fuel for battle.
That was Eugenia’s table, her chessboard, her ongoing fight against the machine. Would the new girl bend over and take it on her first night? Would there be anyone out there reminding the crew how fucked-up the whole show was.
Would the new girl cry when they dumped food on her head?
“How many tickets is she worth?” And how vile was it that she had to ask the man returning to bed that question?
Kissing the tip of her nose, the scowl between her brows, his voice was only consoling. “Not twenty-million.”
There was a rattle behind Eugenia’s heart, a strange fluttering both foreign and uncomfortable. A sensation that only grew worse when she looked him in the eye to suggest, “Give her some time before you put her on rotation for this room. I know you think I’m joking, but you’re scarier than you’ll admit. And don’t jam your fingers in her on her first night.”
Like steel shutters falling to hide what churned inside, the captain went back to the lazing, false cowboy. Utterly guarded, giving nothing away, he toyed with her hair. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I just said what I was thinking.” No lie hid in those words. “And maybe… maybe don’t fuck them so hard. They don’t like it, Aaron. And I know you’re going to say you do that on purpose—”
“Just stop right there. I hear what you’re saying.” By the indifferent feel of him, it seemed he more than heard it.
Breathless in a way that ached, she shook her head. “I don’t think you do.”
“I do. I hear it.” Pulling the sheet over her breasts, he tucked her in. “You’re scared, and you don’t trust me.”
Who would? There wasn’t even a reason to shy from the subject. “I made a mistake trusting John. I won’t make it again.”
Lifting her hands, he kissed her finger. “You’ve been let down. You’ve been hurt.”
So many times. “By you.”
“From your perspective, I’m sure you’ve felt let down by me on more than one occasion,” he conceded. “But I know, I know, Eugenia, it was all done in your best interest.”
They’d always been honest with one another, but that didn’t mean they had been honest with themselves. Eugenia needed him to recognize that. “No, Aaron. It was done in yours. Every favor you ever granted me has always come at a price. Every drop of blood I spilt on this boat was because of you.”
Sprawling at her side, his weight on his elbow, he tripped his touch across her collarbones. “It’s the eternal question of want versus need. I know what you want. My greater concern is with what you need. You often disagree, but here you are, healthy, safe. When the dogs howl, it no longer sends you crashing from your bed. You don’t cry in your sleep anymore.”
At no time was she going to discuss how often he came to sit in her room in the dead of night. Knowing he might have been there more often than she realized… made her uncomfortable. “You’re still the villain in the story. You’re not the hero because I got used to a mattress and shelter. I can decide for myself what I need.”
What she needed was to be away from tender touches and manipulative men with horse cocks and the tongue thing.
Spoken sweetly, as if he really cared for her, the captain said, “Then tell me what you think you need. I’ll listen, and we can discuss.”
Eugenia needed off the captain’s ship to run free without knowing she’d left women behind to suffer. “You should have never told me about Level 9. The reasons you did were revolting, Aaron. Don’t think that I don’t see the unwinnable crusade you’re trying to tempt me with. You want me to fight back so I’ll have a reason to stay. But I can’t save them from you. I’m not even going to try.”
Patient, he stroked her arm. “What else?”
The bait was right there, dangling. An offer to vent her complaints that would lead her nowhere, yet still, she spoke. “You came in me without permission. Held me down afterward so I couldn’t…”
“You knew by that point it was too late. Why should I let you run to the bathroom in a panic? Holding you still meant you had to consider. Which you did. And then I made love to you again, and held you down again. Like the wild dogs that used to send you running into walls in the dark, it’s a matter of adjustment and the slow realization that you are safe and everything is okay.”