Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61591 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61591 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
“It, um… it set off a whole chain reaction.” My face had to be crimson by now.
Lark and his boyfriend Dylan squeezed in beside Vee and Embry, and Hal perched on the couch’s arm while Yolanda and JoJo shared the remaining club chair. “Start from the beginning,” Yolanda said.
Great, now I had seven people on the edge of their seats for story time. Vee was nice enough to provide a recap so I didn’t have to repeat myself, and once he caught everyone up, he asked me, “How bad was the bite?”
“It didn’t break the skin, but it was bad enough to make him yelp. He doubled over, and I hit him in the face with the back of my head as I straightened up. Then we stood up at the same time and sort of bounced off each other. He was wearing a tank top, and I tried to grab for something to steady myself as I fell backwards. I ended up tearing his shirt off before completely flattening the coffee table.” I sighed, and finished by saying, “Anyway, he was obviously upset after all that, so I apologized and got the hell out of there. That was the last I saw of him, until this afternoon.”
Everyone took a moment to process my story, and then Lark brushed his dark hair out of his big, brown eyes and said, “I can’t quite picture how one thing led to another.”
Embry got up and exclaimed, “I can show you! I tend to be a bit accident-prone, and it often leads to chain reactions like the one Tracy described.” His housemates nodded in agreement and sat back to watch the expert’s demonstration.
“Okay, so I’m Tracy, and you’re Dick McBit,” Embry told Vee, as he dropped to his knees in front of his housemate. “Here, hold this.” He handed Vee a baby carrot from the charcuterie board, and Vee grinned and held it up. “So, everything’s going great, when suddenly, McBit sneezes. AH-PLAH! Tracy’s so startled that he bites down.” Everyone flinched as Embry bit the baby carrot in half and chewed up what was in his mouth.
Then he continued, “So, McBit yells and doubles over from the pain, right? Double over, Vee.” They both leaned down, and Embry pantomimed the head-butt in slow motion. “Tracy jerks back and probably smacks into this guy’s forehead with the back of his skull. If it was directly in McBit’s face, he would have broken his nose. There wasn’t a lot of blood, was there Tracy?”
“Nope, no blood.” I was glad everyone’s attention was on Embry for now, instead of me.
“Good job not breaking his nose.” Embry gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up and went back to his demonstration. “So, they both jump up at the same time, and we know the coffee table is right behind Tracy, because of what happens next.”
He and Vee both stood up, and Embry bounced belly-to-belly off his housemate. Next, he pantomimed ripping off Vee’s shirt and bent backwards in slow motion, like he was starring in The Matrix. He embellished it by flailing his arms and yelling, “Ahhhhhh!”
Once Embry was splayed out on the big, sturdy coffee table beside the snacks, Lark said, “Now I get it.” Then he turned to me with wide eyes. “Damn, Tracy, and now you have to live with this guy? That’s got to be embarrassing.”
Vee asked me, “What did your new roommate have to say about all of this?”
“He said he knew it was an accident, and we should start fresh.”
“It’s good Dick’s not being a dick about it,” he said, in all seriousness.
“His name’s not Dick. It’s Ever Daley.”
Vee looked shocked. “For real?”
I asked, “Do you know him?”
“If he’s the Ever Daley, he’s famous,” Hal chimed in, as he tucked a strand of long, dark hair behind his ear. “I follow him on Instagram.”
Now it was my turn to look surprised. “What are the chances?”
“Pretty good, actually. He has millions of followers on social media. I started following him because I’m into fitness, and he’s a personal trainer who gives great advice.” Hal was a willowy former model who still worked out like his career depended on it.
Vee grinned. “I follow him for the eye candy.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, and after he scrolled for a few seconds, he turned the screen to me. “Is this him?” The photo was of my new roommate, smiling at the camera and holding his cat.
“Yeah, and that’s Phil, who seems to have some kind of skin condition.”
“Phil’s supposed to look like that,” Vee explained. “He’s half-Siamese and half-Sphynx. You know, those hairless cats?”
“Why do you know that?”
“Because Phil’s almost as famous as Ever. Well, not quite, but he does have over a million followers on Instagram.”
“The cat has that many followers?” Vee nodded, and I asked, “Why?”