Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 39971 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 200(@200wpm)___ 160(@250wpm)___ 133(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39971 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 200(@200wpm)___ 160(@250wpm)___ 133(@300wpm)
"All right, fine. I can understand that. Thanks for checking on me. I'm doing fine. Would you like to see your niece?" I ask, eager to put our argument behind us.
"Can I?" he asks.
I nod my head and he walks forward and then looks down at my daughter.
"She's so small and cute," he replies.
"Yes, she is," I agree, as I rock her back and forth.
"Look, I'm not mad at you. I understand that you're growing up. I want to make sure that you're okay and that this baby's going to be okay. I won't pressure you to tell me who the father is or anything like that, okay?" he says.
"Thanks. That's very grown up of you, big brother," I reply.
We both laugh a little.
"Don't kill Janice for telling me. I kind of yelled at her to do it, so it's not her fault," he says.
"I kind of had a feeling you did. She usually doesn't give up information very willingly, but I'm glad that she did.”
"Are you going to be alright? You do know that this is a serious thing that will not only change your life but also your plans for your whole future?"
I rock the baby a bit more.
"Yes, I'm aware. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about any of my plans or given up on anything for good. I'll be back at school in no time. Trust me, I have everything figured out. I won't lose my scholarship or my place there. Really, you can believe me when I say that I know what I'm doing," I reply.
"Okay, if you're really sure," Derek answers as he watches the baby in my arms, as she’s slumbering pretty heavily now.
Now that things are somewhat back to normal, I make small talk.
"Did you watch the Super Bowl? Steve played in it. Have you been to see any of his games? How is he doing?" I ask.
Derek seems reluctant to talk about this.
"No, I haven't watched anything, and I have no idea," he answers a bit coldly.
It's easy to see that there's some sort of tension between them. I want so badly to ask him about it and to know what happened, but I already know my brother. He's not going to say anything more on the subject.
And I don’t want to raise his suspicions by pressing him for more information. I have to tell Steve he’s the father before I share that information with Derek!
I smile at my daughter and lay her back down in the little crib. Both of us watch her for a few seconds. She opens one eye up a bit and looks up at us before going back to a full sleep.
"Okay, sis, well I need to get back home. I just wanted to check on you both to make sure you're alright," Derek responds.
We give each other a hug.
“Well, thanks for coming,” I tell him.
Things still seem kind of awkward between us but I’m glad he’s made an effort. He’s really the only family that I have. Our parents must figure they’re done raising me, so they don’t have to talk to me anymore, because I never hear from them.
"Congrats on the baby. My niece is so beautiful. I'll call you in a few days to check on you again," he says, before leaving the room.
Once he's gone, I sit there by myself and think about Steve. I wonder if maybe he might have said something to my brother about what we did and everything that happened between us.
Perhaps that's why Derek is so upset. If that's the case, then it's clear that Steve no longer wants to be with me or have anything to do with me.
My daughter wakes up again with a cooing sound and moves around in her cradle. I pick her up and hug her to me.
That's okay, I think. I'll be just fine without Steve. I'll be fine on my own as long as I have my daughter with me.
I wish this wasn't the case, but I know that I won't be able to have Steve in my life if Derek is so upset with him and he still hasn’t tried to contact me and talk about what happened between us. I hug the baby some more and look over at the small table as I hold her in one arm.
Janice has left my textbooks there. I reach over and grab one with one hand. I open it and flip to the chapters that I'm studying. This way I won't fall behind.
This is the least I can do right now. That way I will be right on track when I do return for the next semester. No matter what, I'm determined to make the best life possible for my daughter and me.
As I study, my mind wanders a little bit. Of course I'm sad that Steve's not going to be in our lives, but at least I can take satisfaction in doing the best with what I have. That's more than my parents ever gave to Derek and me.