Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“Why would you want him to think we’ve done it?”
I fidgeted with the hem of my T-shirt and shrugged. “Because sometimes I wish we’d do more than we do. I feel like everyone is doing it except me—us.” I quickly corrected myself. “Except us.” Of course, I meant us. Not me with some other guy. Definitely not me and Isaac.
Matt scoffed. “Your dad would kill me.”
“I wouldn’t tell my dad. Duh. Do you really think I’d casually mention it during dinner? ‘Hey, Dad, what time is choir practice? And by the way, I’m having sex with Matt. Can you pass the butter’?”
Matt eyed me with an unreadable expression. “Do you want to do it? What if I go to college, and something happens, and we don’t stay together? Will you regret—”
“No,” I said a little too quickly. “Matt,” I sighed, “I love you. You’re my first love, and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. But I don’t want to get married and pop out babies right now. Don’t you want to go to college and have all those new experiences without feeling anchored to this place?”
Or me?
I shrugged. “We’re comfortable with each other. Would it be so wrong to be each other’s first without it meaning more? But it’s up to you. I mean, do you want to?”
We discussed sex like going to a movie.
He did a terrible job at hiding his grin. “Maybe.” He glanced to the side as Kevin got into his burgundy Ford Fairlane. “See ya,” Matt said to him.
After Kevin backed out of his spot, Matt returned his attention to me. “But I know everyone who works at the store, the pharmacy, and the gas station. How am I supposed to buy protection?”
I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation.
“Get one from Tyler or Andy.”
Matt shook his head. “I can’t tell anyone, and neither can you. If this gets out, if even one person finds out, everyone will know.”
“We’re adults.” I crossed my arms over my chest. That was my new favorite line.
“Adults who are still in school, living with our parents, and financially dependent on them.”
I hated Matt’s overabundance of common sense. There was no need to worry about him getting anyone pregnant and driving them two hours north to Planned Parenthood.
“Do your parents use them?” I asked.
He winced. “What? Gross. No, Sarah. I don’t know what my parents use because I don’t like to think about them doing that.” He raked his fingers through his messy hair.
“Maybe I can snoop around in my parents’ room for something.”
“Sarah …” Matt shook his head while squinting at the sky. “No. I can’t do that.”
“You just said—”
When he looked at me, he laughed. “I’m not wearing”—he glanced around again to see if anyone was listening before lowering his voice—“one of your dad’s condoms to have premarital sex with his daughter.”
“Dude!” I rubbed my face before tucking my hands into the back pockets of my pink cotton candy-colored shorts. “It’s not like I’d steal a used one from the garbage.”
“Yuck!” He fisted a hand at his mouth before turning his back to me. “Don’t say that. Stop talking about it. I’ll never be able to make eye contact with your dad again. I need to believe that your parents have done it three times. That’s it.”
“You’re so weird.” I hugged his back and giggled. “I’ll figure something out. Maybe I’ll drive to Runnells.”
“No. Jeez. That’s an hour away.” He peeled my arms from his waist and turned toward me again. “I can’t have you taking care of it. That’s my job. I’ll figure it out.”
I beamed because all of this meant that we were going to have sex.
“You won’t feel guilty? Like God’s judging you for sinning?” he asked.
“He’s a loving God—a forgiving one. It’s nothing a little prayer won’t handle. And it’s not like I’m killing anyone.”
“Sarah,” Matt rolled his eyes, “you’re the worst preacher’s daughter.”
“Pfft …” I smirked. “My sisters are worse. You just wait. Especially Gabby. She’s quiet. Too quiet. Always writing in her Bible. Something’s off about her. I promise you.”
Matt chuckled. “I think you’re wrong.” He ducked his head and kissed me on the cheek.
I grabbed his neck with both hands to keep him close. “Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like we’re going to have sex,” I whispered.
Indecision loomed in his eyes. Matt was a good boy. Too good.
I didn’t wait for him to overanalyze it; I kissed him. And when I opened my mouth, begging for him to stick his tongue in it, he pulled away.
“I’ll call you after dinner,” he said after clearing his throat.
“Fine.” I returned a tight smile while he climbed into his car.
“Sarah!”
I turned toward Heather’s shrill voice as she and Joanna shuffled their way toward me in the gravel parking lot, kicking up dust with their dirty Keds just as Matt pulled out of his spot.