Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73117 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 366(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73117 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 366(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
“Get off of me,” I bit out. Maya’s strawberry body mist stuck to his shirt, to his fingers, to his neck. I wanted to throw up.
“Nik, listen.” He pressed his lips to my neck, and my whole body came alive with need and anger. “It was a dumb move, but it was a necessary one. I’m here now, and I want to talk. If I let you go, do you promise to hear me out?”
Was he bargaining with me? His releasing me shouldn’t be conditional. I’d told him to let go of me, and he hadn’t. I squirmed beneath him, but I didn’t really put up a fight or raise my voice. Secretly, shamefully, I still enjoyed his body on mine.
“You didn’t even let her finish. What a gentleman.” I smiled coldly in his face.
“Nik,” he warned. “Easy there. I know you’re mad, but from my point of view, I didn’t know if you cared a minute ago.”
So you decided to hook up with someone else in front of me? Fine logic you got yourself there.
“My bad. You wouldn’t know how to help a girl finish even if you tried.”
He grabbed my wrists and kissed my knuckles, one at a time, his grin unwavering. “You’re pretty when you’re mad.”
“You’re gross when you breathe.”
I knew I wasn’t exhibiting an abundant amount of maturity, but I was fed up.
Fed up with love.
Fed up with Adam.
Fed up with life.
He chuckled, pressing his lips to the shell of my ear. I was melting away, drowning in him once again. Suddenly, I had a glimpse of the future. Of all the girls he was going to hook up with at Juilliard. The future Adam, bragging about how he used to grind against his best friend’s baby sister. Even on the day when he fingered another chick on her living room couch.
Adam whispered, “What if I told you that when my hand was inside Maya’s panties, it wasn’t her I was thinking about?”
I’d had enough. I did what any self-respecting girl would do.
I kicked him in the nuts.
Not playfully, like we used to do when we wrestled. For real. Kneed his balls with everything I had in me, letting out a feral growl. He groaned, folding in two. I didn’t check if he was okay. I flung myself out of my room, slid into my sneakers, and bolted across the street to my best friend Greta’s house.
It would be the last time I’d see Adam Mackay before he became The Adam Mackay, world-famous superstar.
The next week, he packed up and drove to New York. He tried calling me, but I didn’t pick up. His texts were promptly deleted before I had the chance to peek at them. And whenever Val told us Adam was coming for a visit, I made sure I had other plans and wasn’t around.
Adam was a disease I decided to shake at all costs. For the most part, I succeeded.
And so, the day I fell in love with him was also the day I fell in hate with him.
In war with him.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
I thought about the movie I never got to finish as I pounded on Greta’s door, panting, tears running down my cheeks.
If only I could erase the memory of loving Adam Mackay, I’d prevail.
I’d move on.
Let my guard down and live a good, fulfilling life.
Feel the eternal sunshine on my skin, without the burn of the heartache.
Ten Years Later. Los Angeles.
FINE, I DIDN’T forget about Adam Mackay, but I did move on.
Slowly. Cautiously. Like trying to walk underwater in a swimming pool.
I got accepted to UCLA, and was over the moon to pack a bag and move across the country. It was a great school. Adam was still in New York, and from what I’d heard from Val and my parents, he’d been approached by some off-Broadway productions and was likely going to stay in the Big Apple for a while. A continent between us seemed like a sufficient number of miles.
I never watched the end of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was something I came to terms with. Almost everything from that night reminded me of Adam. The movie. That flowery couch. I even stopped drinking LaCroix.
UCLA shaped me like I was moving clay, each spin making me a more defined, clearer version of myself. I majored in filmmaking, found out the magic of boys who weren’t Adam Mackay, and more importantly—boys found out the magic of me.
My parents and Val watched from the sidelines as my wings finally burst from my back, too big to be contained. I soared. I was involved in great indie projects and found friends and a community in L.A. I even looked like a proper L.A. girl. Put highlights in my already-blonde hair, worked on my tan weekly, and started taking Pilates. No one was surprised when I decided to stay in sunny California after graduation.