Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“How do you feel about it?” she asked, and I turned to look at her. “And get the eggs,” she added.
I grabbed them from the fridge, trying to figure out why she asked me how I felt about Danny liking someone. “I don’t know. I don’t really have a right to feel anything about it.” Only, I did feel things.
“Why not? He’s your best friend, and if one of you gets serious, that changes the dynamic of your relationship. Not that someone will come between the two of you. I’m not saying that, but it’s inevitable that things change.” She broke an egg into the bowl.
This wasn’t making me feel better at all. What would I do if I lost Danny? If things changed and he moved forward without me?
“You know,” Mom said without waiting for my reply, “change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a good thing. I know you…I know you care a lot about him, and I know he feels the same way about you. I want to make sure you know that you and Danny can be best friends, but he doesn’t have to be all you have.”
“I have Brooklyn too.”
She rolled her eyes, not accepting that answer for a minute. “Don’t play dumb with me. You know what I mean. I love Danny. I’m thankful for Danny. I think Danny will always be a part of your life, but there’s a world outside of him, that’s all. Now I’ll shut up and keep my thoughts to myself. You know how hard that is for me.”
I chuckled, not really feeling it. “Yeah, I know. I can’t believe you offered to do it.”
“I can take it back,” she countered. “And you’re slacking on the job. Aren’t you supposed to be helping me with this?”
“Yeah, Mama.”
We continued baking the cake. She talked about work and Dad and family, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said. Mom had never spoken like that about Danny before, and I didn’t know what made her do it today. Did she know I had feelings for him? And I knew there was a world out there beyond Danny Reyes…right?
Once we had the cake in the oven, Dad came inside. He washed his hands before kissing Mom. They were the definition of a happy marriage. Things hadn’t always been easy on them. Life had thrown surprises their way—disapproving family and the like—but they took on every battle together. Maybe that was why I didn’t do the obsessive hookup thing. I wanted what they had; well, minus the marriage and kids because I was too young to think about that shit and didn’t know if I’d ever want it. The commitment, though, that I was feeling. And the always having someone by your side.
“You should stay for lunch,” Dad told me. “I’ll order pizza.”
“Have you ever known me to turn down free food?” I replied, and they both laughed.
I leaned against the counter, waiting for the cake to finish, while Dad ordered food. I wasn’t sure what made me do it, but suddenly I was pulling my cell out of my pocket and logging in to my ILWMBF email account. Saw a message from Anonymous. From Shaw.
We should have lunch today. We have evil plotting ahead of us. You’re not going to get a B…a boy…a boyfriend (ew) by magic, are you?
Text me.
S
I looked at his phone number…thought…then didn’t allow myself to think anymore. I added his number to my phone.
Hey, it’s Elijah. I’m with my parents. I sent the text message, then typed out another single-word message. Dinner?
His response came back right away. You already did it, didn’t you? You’re already in love with me.
I think you’re a little too obsessed with me falling in love with you. Maybe you’re not as anti-love as you think you are.
Elijah? This is Shaw’s friend Will. I’m sorry to tell you this, but he laughed so hard after reading your last text message that he choked and died.
I rolled my eyes. Something’s seriously wrong with you.
“There’s that pretty smile of yours I love,” Mama said. “Tell Danny I said hi.”
My lips automatically pulled into a frown. I was not smiling at Shaw’s pretending-to-be-Will text the way I would Danny’s.
It was impossible. I refused to believe otherwise.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Shaw
Elijah and I decided to meet at seven at Midtown Bite, a burger joint not far from our apartment. The food was good, the walk short, and it couldn’t hurt for people from the neighborhood to see us out and around together. I was nothing if not thorough. If we were going to do this shit, we were going to do it right. I wasn’t fond of failure.
When I walked inside, the hostess was standing at the podium off to the left of the door. The place had a bar-and-grill atmosphere, with the population queer and queer friendly, like the other establishments in the area. As I told Rural, we tended to find each other. Community was important, and I hoped he would end up in a place like this one day.