Total pages in book: 221
Estimated words: 213317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1067(@200wpm)___ 853(@250wpm)___ 711(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 213317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1067(@200wpm)___ 853(@250wpm)___ 711(@300wpm)
“Oh, princess. You wanted to see my cock in his ass, really? I thought you did when I mentioned it in bed that night. You were like a bitch on heat at the fantasy. You know what, though? You didn’t even ask. Maybe if you’d have asked me to join in it wouldn’t have been quite such a blow beneath the belt. Who knows? Maybe I would have even done it. It’s not like I’m averse to other men’s cum, is it?”
I’m not so sure I believe he’d have joined in with us, but his words give me more pain.
He’s twisting things so hard that I’m not sure what I do and don’t want anymore. All I do know, is that I want to heal Ant’s pain, and make him love me again.
He downs another shot of vodka, then carries on talking.
“If you didn’t like anything about our life, you should have told me. I’d have listened, I’d have tried, I’d have done anything I could to make you the happiest woman in the world. Have you been using me all along?”
That triggers me. “I’m not using you, Ant! I haven’t lied, and this has nothing to do with how happy I am in our life. I’m happy with everything!”
“I gave up on my Berlin career to be with you…”
“Yes, and thank you. I gave up mine in return.”
“You didn’t though, did you? You gave it up because you had no fucking choice. Tell me, is that not unfair? Is our relationship not all on me?”
I don’t know what to say. I feel like a guilty, stupid bitch, and even the thought of how much effort he’s put into my world and my life in Bucklebury brings me out in shivers in light of what I’ve just done.
Ant is the man who loves me. He’s the man who’s loved me right from day one.
He sighs and curses before he speaks next.
“I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself, Cass, but it won’t be an easy fucking ride. You’ll have to do whatever it takes to prove you love me, no matter in what form I need it. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to believe you one day.”
“Sure,” I reply, grasping at the chance. “Whatever you need you me to do, I’ll do it for you.”
I have to ask the question… I have to.
“And what about Gerwyn? Are you going to give him a chance as well?”
Ant’s eyes turn cold in a heartbeat, and I regret it. His voice is barbed when he answers me.
“Let me worry about that slimy cunt, Cass. I’m the one who works with him, and I’m the one who’s lived with him for over three fucking years. I never want to hear you mention his name again, since he’s no longer any of your fucking business. It’s up to me what he has to do to make it fucking right.”
The thought hurts, but I can’t let it matter right now.
He downs another shot of vodka before he speaks again.
“The road will have to be a hard one for him, just like it will be for you. Maybe even harder. I won’t trust that cunt with anything of mine ever again. Piece of fucking shit.”
I’m pleased to God when Ant gestures upstairs, finally beginning to calm down, just a touch. I’m hoping I’ll be able to hold him tight when we get in the bedroom, but his words are still laced with hurt and spite.
“You’re worth a chance, baby, but you’re going to have to prove it. I mean it. It won’t be easy. I don’t find it easy to trust people in the first fucking place. My cunt of a mother saw to that.”
“I know,” I tell him, feeling even guiltier. “I promise, I will.”
“Get in that shower, then, and scrub that cheating asshole off your cunt.”
I nod and retreat to the bathroom, legs still weak. I’m glad when the water and the steam mask my tears, washing myself all over as Ant watches with folded arms. I feel like a convict about to start a sentence, and there is still a part of me paining at the loss of such an important man in our lives.
I’m washing Gerwyn off me. It feels like shit, along with the rest of it.
“Enough,” Ant says, when he’s satisfied I’ve scrubbed myself hard enough.
I step out of the shower and reach for a towel, but Ant doesn’t let me grab one. He takes hold of my arm while I’m still dripping wet and pulls me through to the bedroom like I’m a naughty child, throwing me down on the mattress, face first.
“Only one person owns your cunt, Cass, and that person is me.”
He’s straight up behind me, tugging me back onto all fours. I hear his belt coming undone, zipper yanked down. He grabs my thighs and slams his cock straight in deep.