Total pages in book: 221
Estimated words: 213317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1067(@200wpm)___ 853(@250wpm)___ 711(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 213317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1067(@200wpm)___ 853(@250wpm)___ 711(@300wpm)
I feel on trial, the look in his eyes digging in deep. I go on the defence on instinct.
“No, it’s not a bad thing. I enjoy it as much as I say.”
“Good. I hope so. I’d hate to think you were lying to me, because that’s the crime that really happens between people, baby. Lying. That’s what’s really happened here for your client, Claire. Her fiancé has lied to her. He has no respect for her and he’s a cheating prick. It just so happens that’s been with you. But that’s his crime, not ours, and definitely not yours.”
My heart is racing, brain swimming as I try to keep up with his logic.
“Do you want to tell her?” he asks me, and I shrug.
“I don’t know.”
“Fine, and that’s your call, sweetheart. Just know I’ll stand by you if you do.”
My reply is another one said on instinct.
“Thank you.”
“No problem, princess. We always stand strong together, no matter what.” He kisses my hand and holds it tight. “I hate seeing this beautiful, hopeful side of you challenged. It’s so sad.”
I still have tears falling, so wipe them away.
“What do you mean?”
He looks at me so lovingly.
“You are such a beautiful soul, believing in people’s truth and people’s dreams. But most of those are false and based on lies. How many of the loved-up couples you work with go the distance without ending up in divorce? How many of those people do you think have cheated on each other before they even step through your door? I’d say a lot of them.”
I’ve never thought about it like that, not spoken so matter of fact and so cuttingly.
“I don’t know.”
“I work with a team overseas, sweetheart. I see people cheat on their wives, partners and husbands all the time. Hitting the clubs around work and taking cock and pussy wherever they can get it. It’s one of the things that I hope sets me apart. That sets us apart. Truth and honesty. Genuine commitment.” He smiles. “That makes me feel like the luckiest man alive, to have a woman like you I trust to be as loyal as me.”
I don’t feel very loyal or trustworthy now I’ve seen someone’s fiancé I’ve fucked with his hand holding hers.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Ant says again, reading me like a book. “You can take ownership by telling her about it if you want to, but you can’t take ownership of the crime. He’s the one who committed it. That’s his cross to bear.”
“I don’t know what to do…” I say, my breaths calming as Ant smiles at me.
“So, don’t do anything yet. Give it time, give it thought. When is their wedding?”
“September.”
“Quite a while yet, then. Who knows? Maybe he’s been cheating on her with plenty of others and she’ll find out through one of them.”
“Maybe.”
“Hopefully.”
I shrug. “Hopefully.”
“Give yourself a break, Cass. He fucked up. You did nothing wrong, I promise.”
His words are so soft but so strong.
“We should find value in situations like this, baby. It only shows how lucky we are to have each other, knowing we would never betray each other like that.”
He’s got a point, and I wipe my tears away, feeling the panic ease off a little.
I go back to his earlier revelation, still surprised.
“Gerwyn knows about the mattress room?”
He nods. “Yes, he knows. Like I said, his issue is with manipulation and coercion, not on a couple enjoying their interests."
It still feels weird to me that Gerwyn knows, but he must be right. Yet again, Ant reads me.
“Talk to him about it when he gets back if you like. But please, whatever you do, don’t give him even the slightest hint that you aren’t the horny slut you are, or I’ll never hear the end of it. I’ll be bearing the brunt of his crusader bullshit for all time.”
He pauses with a smirk.
“But you wouldn’t do that, would you, princess? You’ll tell him the truth. That you want to be in the mattress room as much as I want you in it.”
“Yes,” I say, and summon a smile back on my face. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he knows I want it as much as you do.”
Oh, how I wish the pang in my stomach was as confident as me.
Cass
I’ve been off work since Monday morning since Claire came into the office with Lee. I can’t remember the last time I took three days off in a row, but Janie is fine with it. She’s been dropping me messages every morning to check I’m doing ok and assuring me she’s doing well in the office. I’ve no doubt she is, but calling in sick with my tail between my legs still makes me feel like shit.
All I can picture is Lee’s face.
Ant has been busy working, but popping down and holding me tight whenever he gets the chance between meetings. He tells me that a big proportion of how crap I feel is down to the hangover from hell, and that shows I need to be more responsible with drink from here on in, but he’s wrong.